Notes: Right, so one final warning... There are spoilers ahead ;)

So, you really want to read on? Very well, I'll just give you a little bit of info so you understand everything a little better. Sev got Siri out of the Veil and they had a solely physical relationship for a few weeks. Later, Lucius has been caught, and Siri had a little chat with him. When Lucy was taken to Azkaban, he was "rescued" by the Death Eaters and could tell Moldivort *lol* of Sev's true alligiance. Sev was caught and tortured by the DEs, though not by Lucy. He was left to die, but luckily everybody's favourite mongrel found him. Now Siri has some sucking up to do *lol*

Those who saw Sirius Black race through the halls of Hogwarts, thought that the ex-prisoner of Azkaban had finally lost his marbles. He ran as if the Dark Lord himself was on his heels, and anyone unlucky enough to stand in his way was soon in a closer contact with the castle walls than one would wish for.

Though he was sorry to hear pained cries behind him, Sirius had no time to lose. Not when his stupidity had caused him to waste all those years. It was high time to beg for forgiveness. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes yet again when he thought of his recent conduct towards Severus. He had treated him only little better than a common whore. His heart clenched inside his chest, and once more he prayed to a deity he knew in fact didn't exist, 'Please. Let him listen to me. Let Remy be right about Severus' feelings for me...'

A rather satisfying confrontation with Peeves later (which had left the annoying poltergeist floating in the air, petrified), Sirius finally reached the door to the Potions Master's private quarters. Dreading what was to come, and yearning for it at the same time, the animagus raised his fist and knocked. It did not take long until he heard someone move behind the solid oak, and an angry voice called, "Whoever you are, I'm rather busy at the moment, come back later, much later."

'Well, for someone just out of the hospital wing he is in an amazingly cheerful mood...' Knocking once again, Sirius yelled, "Be that as it may, but we have to talk nonetheless, Severus. And we better do it now." Severus ... oh, to call him by his given name again...

The door flew open, revealing the fuming Potions Master. "What do you want, Black? And you better make it quick." Then something seemed to dawn on him, and a smile that caused Sirius to shiver appeared on his face. "Of course. Thanks are in order I presume. After all, you saved my life. So, thank you ever so much. And now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to attend to. Just like you, I imagine. Whoever my successor as your sex toy is, he'll be waiting for you, I'm sure."

The last sentence was spat, and Severus' eyes were shooting angry sparks at Sirius. Or so it would have seemed to the animagus only weeks ago. But now... Now he saw that behind the chagrin something else was hidden - the broken heart of a man whose life had been turned upside-down more than 20 years ago.

He so wished to be able to just embrace the ex-spy, but he knew that Severus would neither understand nor allow it. 'Merlin, what have I done?' Pulling himself together, he replied, his voice steadier than he had thought it would be. "There is no one, Severus. And there never will be..." If Severus was startled, he didn't show it. So Sirius went on, advancing on the other man and thus forcing him back into the room. "And you don't have to thank me. It was me who caused for all this to happen in the first place."

"What in Merlin's name are you on about now? How is it your fault that I gave myself away ... somehow?" Though he couldn't remember doing anything that might have raised the suspicion of his fellow Death Eaters.

Sirius shook his head, "You didn't do anything. It was me. I... When Malfoy was kept here, I went to him. And what he told me..." Glancing at the other, he saw confusion clearly written on Severus' features. 'This is it. If you can't say it now, you really don't deserve him. Not that you do anyway.'

Kicking the door shut with his heel, he reached for the Slytherin's hand. Obsidian eyes locked with blue, and holding onto the Potions Master's hand tightly, Sirius finally spoke the words so long over-due. "Forgive me. For everything I ever did to hurt you. For every harsh word, every mocking comment. For the Shrieking Shack. But most importantly, forgive me for throwing the greatest gift a man could ever receive back into your face. I was wrong, so very wrong. All these years I believed a lie. I was so blind..."

Unbidden, that fateful night at the Shack came back to Sirius' mind. And for the first time he saw Severus' eyes as they had been when James dragged him away from Moony. Shock was in them, and terror. But there was something else; they had seemed ... dead. As if something vital had been taken from him. And nothing had changed since then. His gaze that once had been so warm and loving appeared empty, and ice cold. There was nothing Sirius' wouldn't do to put the life back into those onyx pools.

Severus was stunned. Sirius' words didn't make much sense, not that that was surprising. However, now he made even less sense than usually. Why apologise, and why now? Did he wish to clear his conscience before... Or was it something else? 'Don't be such a fool. Believing him can only result in one thing, another heartbreak.' Pulling his hand free, Severus turned and moved towards the fireplace. "How very noble of you, Black. But why ask my forgiveness now? You didn't care very much when you took me to your bed."

'But you did, didn't you?' How he hoped; how he longed to hear Severus say the words neither of them had ever spoken. "Please, give me five minutes. That's all I'm asking. Five minutes of your time and I swear that if you desire it then, I will leave your life, forever." And he meant it. No matter if it would destroy him; if his heart would break. He'd deserve it.

Falling into one of the two chairs by the fire, Severus muttered, "Knowing how persistent you are... Very well, Black. Say what you have to say." He was unable to discern what was wrong with the Gryffindor, and curiosity had got the better of him. Those startling eyes gazed at him in a way so familiar and yet so new. He wanted to take him into his arms and hold him for all time. But no, Sirius certainly wouldn't approve of such behaviour. This was probably Dumbledore's doing. Yes, it had to be Albus' idea.

"Severus... Do you still remember the night of the Shrieking Shack incident? Of course you do." He was nervous, his hands sweaty and cold. The fingers of his right hand tried to brush imagined dust off his robes when they touched something solid. The small box... 'Go on. This means that you love him. Now prove it to him.' Sitting in the chair opposite of Severus, he went on. "I never gave you a reason for my deeds. Let me remedy that."

Drawing a deep breath, he caught the Potions Master's gaze. "The night before that, we didn't meet. Partly because I had promised James to watch over Remy, partly because I wanted to go into Hogsmeade to pick something up. Well, I was late, and Jamie was furious because I had ruined his date with Lily. He gave me his cloak and told me to seek you out. You know, I was practically bouncing around. And then there was the thing I told him about you, how gorgeous you were writhing beneath me..."

The tears couldn't be forced back anymore. Too long had he held back his feelings. And Severus didn't seem to fare any better. "I'm sorry, Severus. I am so sorry. I did not mean to cause you pain yet again." Rising, Sirius moved over to where the other was sitting, kneeling by his side. "I never told you then. Never told you how much you meant to me..."

"Enough," Severus whispered, voice thick with emotions. "You had your laugh... Now go..." He made to get up, but strong arms stopped him.

"No. It is important that you hear me out. Please, Severus." The tiniest of nods was the only thing that Severus gave by way of an answer. "I went to the dungeons then. I wanted to surprise you... But I was the one in for a surprise. I saw something, in one of the unused classrooms. Lucius Malfoy and someone, who, at that time, I believed to be you. Now I know that it had been MacNair, using Polyjuice... I should have gone to your room, or cornered you the next day. But I couldn't. I..."

Slowly, Sirius words were sinking in. Polyjuice? But why? Why would Lucius... "He wanted to alienate me, so that he could recruit me..." Obsidian eyes once more locked with blue. "But you believed it. You didn't trust me. And didn't even give me the chance to explain myself."

"I was a fool. Still am. I left Hogwarts, believing that you never cared. I went to Azkaban with that thought. And when I saw you again... I wanted to push you into the wall and force the truth from you. I just, I couldn't. I couldn't let go of my anger, just like I couldn't let go of my love for you." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled forth the small box. "They let me keep it. Thought that it would drive me mad to think of what I'd lost." Opening the box, he added, "This was what kept me sane. I knew that you had turned spy, and had hoped that maybe..."

But Severus wasn't listening. He stared at the two rings sitting in the box. One shone greenish, the other was faintly red, Gryffindor red. 'Alright, you better get rid of him right now. Or else you're done for. He's already broken your heart thrice. Send him away. Now!' With a last effort, Severus rose to his feet. Glancing at the man still kneeling by his chair, he asked sardonically, "And what, pray tell, does this prove? You took those rings into Azkaban, as a reminder of what? If you indeed believed that I was unfaithful then those rings didn't stand for anything you'd lost. Then you would have been well rid of me."

The crestfallen expression on Sirius' face made something inside his chest split open, and coldness filled him, gnawing at his heart. Thankfully, the animagus wasn't looking at him, or he would have seen tears falling from those jet black eyes, for the first time in ... only a few months. 'Merlin, what am I doing? If he is indeed being sincere... You almost lost him. Do you want to lose him again?'

Staring at his own shaking hands, he whispered, "How could you believe it? How could you not ask me about it? I'd have rather died than let Lucius touch me in that manner. Yes, he has made advances, last time only a few weeks ago. But I would have never agreed to anything. The only chance for him to have me, was by means of Imperio."

"And still you went to him, didn't you? Still you allowed for him to be your friend. It was only a week after the Shrieking Shack that you were firmly in his clutches." Those final weeks of school, Sirius had depended upon his friends. He had hardly been at the Great Hall, unable to see Severus together with his new friends.

"It was the greatest mistake of my life. And I'm still paying for it. I'll pay for it until the day I die." No, he couldn't tell Sirius why he had become a Death Eater, couldn't tell him that it had been for Albus ... and for him. Dumbledore's words still echoed in his mind... 'He is one of the most powerful wizards I've ever known, Severus. And as such, he will be quite high up on Voldemort's list. Either to recruit him, or destroy him.'

His gaze fell on the Gryffindor's hands. He was not only holding the box anymore, but clutched a photo to his chest; the only photo of the two of them. His voice was so low that it was hardly audible. "When I saw you again, three years ago, I thought my heart would burst. To see the hatred in your eyes, to know that you believed me to be..." Shaking his head, he got to his feet. "I have had my five minutes. There is nothing I can say except for how sorry I am. If I could, I would go back in time, and set everything to rights. But unfortunately I cannot." Setting the box and photo on the mantelpiece, he walked towards the door. "It is clear to me that you can't forgive me. I'll leave you, and I won't ever bother you again."

Later, Severus could never explain what had happened then. But the sight of his only love walking away from him had apparently been too much for him. Rushing to Sirius' side, he pulled him into a searing kiss, his fingers tracing the hard planes of the animagus' chest and abdomen. Breaking away, the Head of Slytherin House lowered himself to his knees, and thrust his hands inside the others trousers. Stroking the half-erect member to firmness, he finally freed Sirius, and without another word, swallowed him to the root.

The familiar taste filled his senses, and he had to close his eyes for a moment, revelling in the blissful sensation of Sirius' hardness filling his mouth. Until now he had not realised how much he had missed this - the taste and feel of the other man. His own body began to throb in need as memories of their lovemaking so many years ago filled his mind, and his eyes started to burn once again at the thought of the countless years that had been lost because of Lucius' conspiracy.

A low moan from above him brought him back to the presence, and he opened his eyes to see the features he had dreamed about almost every night for the past 20 years, contorted in surprised pleasure. How he had missed him...

Putting his mind back to the task at hand, or mouth, in this case, Severus gave in to the urges raging within him. Gently steadying Sirius' hips with his hands, he began to move his head slowly, all the while swirling his tongue around the throbbing flesh in his mouth, tasting and sucking.

Too shocked to do very much, Sirius closes his eyes, his hands caressing Severus' skull. He couldn't say if he was dreaming or if those soft lips around him were truly there. Leaning against the door, he let himself be consumed by passion.

Severus felt his lover's weight shift, and he moved with him as he leaned against the door. The feeling of Sirius' hands on his head, softly caressing his hair, only heightened the sensations coursing through him. His only goal right now was to give the other man all the pleasure he could ... anything else could wait for later.

Shifting, he took Sirius deeper into his mouth, his hands slipping from his hips into the open trousers until they rested on the bare and well rounded buttocks. Squeezing them roughly elicited a loud moan from Sirius, who then drove his hips forward and his member deeper down Severus' throat.

Severus took it all in, swallowing repeatedly around the needy erection until Sirius was groaning and writhing against the door, his legs trembling and on the verge of giving out. Feeling that his lover would not last much longer, Severus increased the suction on Sirius' shaft, his head bobbing up and down in quick succession.

As Sirius' trembling increased, Severus once again squeezed his buttocks while the carefully grazed the other's erection with his teeth. That was all it took, and Sirius cried out, his whole body shaking violently as he spilled his seed down Severus' throat. The Slytherin swallowed rapidly so nothing would be lost, and the added sensation of the throat muscles massaging the head of his over-sensitised member, combined with the almost unbearable pleasure coursing through him, proved to be too much for Sirius.

A blissful smile playing around his lips, Sirius slid down the door he had been leaning against. When Severus had finally licked him clean and tucked him back in, he looked back up at his lover, only to find that Sirius Black, the star of Gryffindor, had been knocked out cold by the force of his orgasm.

---

Slowly, he opened his eyes, gazing up into obsidian pools. Severus' expression was unreadable, but there was something that was pretty clear. Resting his fingers over the Potions Master's crouch, Sirius smiled, "You want me to help you with that?" No reaction. "Sev?" What was going on? Why was he suddenly getting up? "Severus please..."

Picking up the small box, Severus seated himself once again in his chair. "So what did you want with me that night?" Raising his eyebrow, he motioned for Sirius to answer.

Crawling over to his ... lover, he resumed his kneeling position. "I think that's pretty obvious, isn't it? I wanted to ask you if you were willing to become a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black." Taking one elegant hand in his, he whispered, "If you can forgive me for my idiocy, Severus... Would you consider bonding with me?"

A rare smile graced the Slytherin's features, and he replied huskily, "Someone has to watch out for you, Black. And since I've had practice with your godson I can't see any reason why I shouldn't continue with you..." Brushing Sirius' lips with his own, he whispered, "I love you, Sirius."