Chapter 13 - A New Life

Brian

Mikey is dead, and this time I really mean it. He's supposed to be my fucking friend – our fucking friend! But does he act the part? No! Little piece of shit! I just want to grab Justin and get out of here. Maybe we can go back to Paris ... it was nice there after all. But I can't do that, can I? Instead, I just stare at the small gathering in my – our – fucking home. The whole gang is here, even Jennifer and Daphne and Debbie's detective, and they are staring at us. I turn my head to Justin, who just beams at me. Did the fucker know something like this would be happening? If so, he'll be paying for this – with long and hard hours of work. Then again, maybe he's just happy to see our family again... Like I'm not enough! No, no. I won't queen-out on him now. He deserves better, much better.

So I just drop my bag and draw my Sunshine into a quick kiss. Then I turn to Mikey who looks kinda scared. Well, no shit. Next time we want him to stay silent about something, I'm going to tape his mouth shut. He's worse than his mother, and Deb is a fucking tattletale. My attention switches back to the small crowd inside the loft because I suddenly hear an excited "Dada 'n Jussie," and Gus comes running towards us. He stops right in front of me, waving his arms to indicate that he wants me to pick him up. I do, and he wraps his arms around my neck, and kisses my cheek. "Miss you, dada." Then he turns to Justin. "Hug, Jussie!" My very own twink needs no further invitation and steps up to wrap his arms around the both of us. I hear the telltale click of a camera, but I don't care. I just hope that we also get a copy of this particular photo. Maybe my little artist can turn it into another of his masterpieces...

"Well, aren't you three the sweetest thing I've ever seen?" That's Debbie. "So, tell us about your trip, why don't you?" Someone, I think it's Jen, tells Deb to give us a second or two to put down our things and get inside and all that, and fuck! I think I could have done a lot worse for a mother-in-law. Shit. Did I just think of Mother Taylor as my... Holy fucking shit! I think it's time I finally accepted the fact that the days of Brian Fucking Kinney have ended – as far as my fucking feelings are concerned, that is. I just have to admit it to myself – yes, I want to have a fucking family with Justin and our friends, and yes, I will allow them to help me out when in need. But I sure as hell won't stop irritating the hell out of them, especially my favourite dyke, Ms Melanie Marcus. I might be settling down with my little wife, but I don't have to turn into a fucking breeder... Wait a minute. I don't have to! Just because I'm finally ready for a fucking relationship doesn't mean I have to turn my back on my former life, at least not completely. Justin wouldn't want that... Shit, I was so stupid. Why didn't I see that before? We're still the Kings of Babylon, even though we are exclusive now. And I can still be Brian Fucking Kinney, even though I know they all know that it's just a mask.

My little moment of epiphany is over now, and I realise that Debbie really shut up, she really listened. I put my Sonny Boy down again, and take Justin's hand, dragging him into the loft. I hear Mikey sigh, and look back over my shoulder. He's just reaching for our bags – well, serves him right. Justin playfully punches my arm – I think this grew on him while we were in Paris, little shit – and shakes his head at me. What? I didn't do anything, did I? Then everyone and their dogs are all over us, hugging and kissing us, and I have to extricate Justin from Emmett's embrace once again. When will our resident queen realise that Justin's mine and off limits to him, or anyone else?! I lose that particular train of thought when Jen comes up to hug me and kiss me on the cheek. What the fuck?!

I'm almost glad when I hear Deb's voice. She seems to think that she's waited long enough and is asking again, "So how was your honeymoon?" Fuck! Jen is gasping, apparently she was still oblivious. Well, the big secret's out now. I feel Justin tense next to me, and he turns to bury his face against my neck and moans. Déjà-vu, Sunshine? Well, he probably fears that this will turn into another interrogation by Mrs High Inquisitor Debbie Novotny. Not as long as I'm here, Justin.

I kiss his forehead, and then turn to face our assembled family. And, with my tongue-in-cheek grin, I reply. "Oh, thanks for asking, Deb. For a non-honeymoon it was just great." I feel Justin chuckle before he presses an open-mouthed kiss to my throat. Twat! If he keeps this up I'm going to have to drag him up to the bedroom, our guests be damned. But one of them is my little son, so I force myself not to respond to the blond twink in my arms. "Even though I don't think I want to see another museum for, say, the next ten years." They all chuckle – yes, even Theodore – and Justin stops his ministrations to slap me over the head. Little fucker. Who does he think he is? 'Your loving partner,' my mind is quick to offer.

"But other than that, it was really great, wasn't it, oh husband of mine?" Now he glares. "I would even go so far as calling it ridiculously romantic!" I catch Daphne's gaze, and she gives me one of her big smiles – as if she wants to tell me that I'm doing very well and that she's so fucking happy for us. Everyone else falls silent. And I finally understand how silence can be deafening, because this one surely is. They all are completely stunned. Well, no surprise there. After all, I always said that I don't do fucking romance, or fucking love, or whatever else. I guess things do change, and it's time they came to terms with that. I'm not the man I was before I met Justin, or the man I was two months ago. And the new me is capable of romantic gestures, as long as I'm not caught with my pants down so to speak.

Anyway, all is quiet for about a minute before they all start to talk at once. But I've learnt to tune them out if need be. My eyes lock with Justin's, and he smiles at me. And before I know it, we're kissing like fucking newly-weds. I just can't get enough of him, never could. There's something about him that made me come back for more after our first night. When he came to Babylon and danced with those two idiots... I just knew that no one but me was allowed to touch him, that I had to have him again. And if I hadn't been so fucking horny and, well, stoned, I'd have been scared shitless of this need. I broke my own fucking rules for him, and I have to say that it was one of the smartest things I ever did. Sure, I could have tried to ignore him, but somehow I took a leap of ... not really faith, but something quite similar to it, and jumped into something I was as much a virgin to as he had been when I saw him under that street lamp. Hell, I still feel like a fucking virgin at times. Because even after almost two years, this is still my first time all over again, my first try at love.

Of course I never showed him. Far be it from Brian Kinney to let anyone see through his fucking masks. But somehow Justin was still able to see through my shit – was still on to me. Up to the Prom. Afterwards, without his guidance, everything turned to shit in my hands. I needed him to push me into the right direction, but he wasn't able to anymore. And Mikey, the one who took matters in hand eventually and fixed us up... Well, back then he was still too much in love with the idea of being in love with me. And he saw that he stood no fucking chance because my heart had long since been given to a blond twink. I think he hated Justin for it. Yeah, and then the professor came along. Justin and Mikey have made amends now, and I know that Mikey is genuinely happy for us. In a way, it was he and Ben who made me commit to Justin. I mean, it works for them, so why shouldn't it work for me? Yes, we are as good as married now, and isn't that the greatest fucking miracle of them all?

Someone is pulling on my pants, and I'm forced to break that delicious kiss. Gus looks at me with big eyes and asks, "Bring pressy, dada?" Justin cracks up like I knew he would, and try as I might I can't stop the smile from spreading across my face. Fuck. This is it, and there goes my Brian Fucking Kinney façade. And it took me years to perfect it. Damn it, and damn Justin for causing all of this – for turning me into a fucking lovesick dyke. Gus asks again, more forceful this time, "Pressy, dada?" Linz begins to chuckle, and the professor is making cooing noises. Oh yes, he's a big fucking teddy bear, don't be fooled by outward appearance. Says a hell of a lot about our education system, doesn't it?

I turn to Justin, and he nods. He takes off his backpack and starts rummaging through it. I think the things that are true for women's purses also apply to Mr Taylor's backpack. You put something into it, and it disappears forever. Finally, his face lights up and I know that at least Gus' presents didn't vanish into the void. Wouldn't want to explain to him that we had the most fantastic gift for him, but that Justin lost it. Well, at least he wouldn't be mad at me. But I don't think Sunshine would have been too happy about it. So... Gus sees what Justin's up to, and pads over to his second dad. I have to grin when I recall that little conversation. Justin's really been afraid I might take offence. And why would I do that? If anything, he brought me closer to Gus – right from the beginning.

Gus is giggling with delight, and I look down to see him hug the plush fishies we got him. "Look, dada. Jussie gave fishie!" Justin beams, and I can't help it – I smile again. Everyone seems to think this is awfully cute, and fuck, it is! Justin seems to be a natural when it comes to parenting... Then I catch Linz' gaze. She seems to be deep in a conversation with Mel, and for some reason that thought makes me all jumpy and nervous. Shit. Well, whatever it is they are planning, they better lay off Justin. He's had enough shit coming his way lately, and he doesn't need any more to worry about. Least of all some lesbians ... whatever it is they are scheming now.

A small hand closes around my fingers, driving all thoughts of crazy dykes away for the moment. "Thank you, dada." Shit, my son is thanking me, and Justin's fucking allergies are kicking in again. Fuck! Gus smiles, and turns to Justin. "Thank you, Jussie. Love fishies." Well, wait until you see the grinning Eiffel Tower. The little shit who calls himself my partner demanded we get one of those as well. Okay, I admit that it's cute, but really... What's next? The Winged Plush Victory? And Justin would have bought it, little fucker that he is.

He reaches for my hand now, to draw himself up. Unfortunately, his sleeve travels up his arm and the bracelet comes into clear view. "Sunshine! Didn't you say there was no ceremony?" Debbie storms forward, and grabs Justin's right hand. "Don't tell me the asshole just gave it to you like it meant nothing." Oh, cut it out, Deb. But before I can get a word in, she hugs Justin and whispers, "I'm so fucking happy for you." Her eyes catch mine, and she adds, "And if you ever hurt Sunshine again, I'll rip your balls off, asshole."

---

Justin

They are all gone now, thank God. For a moment there, I was afraid Brian would have a fit cause he got all emotional in front of everyone. Yeah, because Deb had to make a fuss about the fucking bracelet. But, wonder of wonders, he just smiled at Debbie and nodded, and then gathered Gus into his arms, hugging him tightly. So I went about distributing our souvenirs, and I think everyone was really happy. And Linz, being Linz, stole half of the art books I had gotten – much to Mel's chagrin. Sidney, that gallery owner, has asked her to work for him, and now she's all excited, and reads and reads and reads. Yup, Mel is thrilled. They both seem to be up to something, still, and I'm getting a little scared here. Especially after they invited Brian and me for brunch on Saturday. To quote Brian – things are getting spooky, boys and girls.

Anyway, they are all gone now, and our bags are unpacked. Brian insisted on celebrating our return with a make-out session, which led to some pretty hot and steamy sex on the sofa – okay, that's not really surprising considering what we are up to usually. So now we're in the shower, getting all cleaned up. Brian had called Dr O'Reilly last Wednesday, and is now allowed to take off the bandages to shower, providing I "strap him up again afterwards". I like the man's humour, I really do. And no, that has nothing to do with the fact that he annoys the hell out of Brian. Nope, not at all. Well, alright. So I like to see Brian speechless once in a while, so what? That's why I also like to watch him interact with Mel, usually. Right now, Mel's just too scary...

I recall something Emmett told me as I patch Bri up again. "You know, Ted and Em figured that it wasn't going to work out after all, and that they're better friends..." He snickers, he really snickers. Yeah, well... He likes to be proved right. "Em said they got so drunk one night last week, and were talking about all those things, and it just happened. They had one more for the road, but it's over and done with now. No hard feelings..." Which just shows that they really are better friends than lovers. When Brian and I nearly... Well, I have to say that I wanted to strangle him – when I didn't want to kick myself, that is. "And then, on Sunday, Ted ran into Blake ... remember him?" Brian huffs. "And now Em is set on this mission to get Teddy and Blake back together. He's not using anymore. Actually, he's a drug abuse counsellor, so... And Em thinks that Ted never really got over him, and..."

Brian stops me in mid-sentence. "Is there a point to this?" I glare. "I mean, what do I care what Theodore and Emmett are up to. As long as Emmett keeps his hands off my property he can go to hell for all I care." Yeah right! Like he doesn't love his friends. And has he just called me his property? You've another one coming, Mr Kinney. "So dearest Ted is going for his tweaked-out ex-Crystal-queen again? Great. Maybe that'll keep him off my back for a while." Right, Brian doesn't love the banters with Ted, not one bit. No. Whatever gave me that impression. "But I repeat, is there a point to your lovely tale?"

You bet there is, Kinney. "Well, you know that Em moved out of Mikey's, right? And now that he and Ted aren't an item anymore..." Brian raises an eyebrow at me, and I take that as my cue to cut down on the elaboration. "Well, you won't guess where Em is staying now." He shrugs, clearly not that interested. "My old room at Deb's." The look he gives me says it all. "So what?" Yes, yes. Getting to it. Just a sec. "So ... you better behave yourself cause I've lost my hiding place." He doesn't reply, and I just sigh and get back to my work – namely bandaging him.

But as soon as I attach the final plaster, he draws me into a long and thorough kiss. Once he draws back, he smirks and bumps his forehead against mine – and don't I love it when he does that?! "Have you learnt nothing? I never behave, cause where would be the fun in that? Besides," suddenly he's not playful anymore, but all serious, "see if I let you walk out on me again. You managed to get me this far, and now I want the whole package deal. You're stuck with me, Justin Taylor. For good." His voice sounds disinterested, as if he's reading the weather forecast, but I know how hard this is for him. He's so fucking brave, and trusts me so implicitly now... Even though I know he's still terrified of me having another 'Ethan-phase'. Well, fuck that. I'm not that stupid. Besides, Brian gave me what I wanted, and more.

Ethan promised me the sun and the moon, but when I decided to go for what I wanted, what I fucking needed, he turned into a complete freak. If that is the kind of love Mr Ethan Gold wanted to gift me with, I'll pass, thank you very much. Brian, on the other hand, always put my needs before his own. I just didn't see it that way. Maybe he was unwilling, or unable, to make any promises. But not because he didn't love me, but because he was afraid. So, whenever he did promise something, it was all the more precious to me. Like that trip to Vermont – and fuck, it hurt when he had to cancel it. I never even listened when he tried to explain everything to me. I was so fucked!

Anyway, Brian always wanted me to be happy, he admitted as much the day I came back. But Ethan... Ethan only wants himself to be happy. And now that his little toy decided to be with someone else, he completely lost it. And I realised that it was never about love with him, it was about Ethan, and Ethan alone. With Brian it's the complete opposite. Even when he yells at me for doing something stupid, I can still see his love for me in his eyes. And it's been there since the Prom. No, that's not true. It was there before, I just can't quite recall when I first saw it. That night, there was only madness in Ethan's eyes, and I think there never was any love in them – well, okay, there was. But that was only the love for himself...

So, as far as I'm concerned, Ethan can rot in jail. Mel has heard something on the grapevine – apparently a date has been set for the trial – it's still three months away, which suits me just fine. I don't think I want to deal with the shit just now. After all, there's that brunch to worry about. And of course our return to work. Well, we still have five days until Monday, and Brian has to go to Allegheny General again tomorrow. And boy, is he looking forward to it. Well, I am. Have to see if I can't take lessons with Dr O'Reilly...

On Wednesday, we go to the hospital, and everything is just fine. Brian can actually forego the bandages because the rib is almost as good as new again, and his lungs are up to scratch once more. "Though I suggest you cut back on the smoking..." The good doctor is really something. Brian glares, and I have to giggle, which only gets Brian more cranky. "As for you, Mr Taylor," uh-oh, "I hope you took good care of yourself during your trip. And I hope you managed to work through some of the things my wife mentioned..." What the fuck. That's the first time I hear anything about Brian's little trip to a shrink, and I can't believe that he did all that for me. Let's just say that a certain ad-exec gets very lucky that night.

Thursday we are down at the police HQ to go over our statements again, and Carl – Detective Horvath – is really nice and actually asks us stuff about Debbie, and this is just odd. Anyway, he thinks that Ethan might claim that the whole thing was just an accident, but fuck, how likely is that? He tells us not to worry – well, we do worry, but not about fucking Ethan. The brunch looms closer and closer and shit, I'm scared.

Of course, time flies if you want it to just stop, and before we know it, it's Saturday, and we're sitting in the Munchers' living room. Brian's been playing with Gus, and has even allowed me to make a few sketches – until my hand cramped again, and both Gus and Brian tried to kiss it better. The pain I can see in those beautiful hazel eyes – Bri's, not Gus' – always makes me want to throw my arms around him, and never let go. And maybe Brian wouldn't kill me on the spot if I tried that now – not after all we've been through. Anway, Brian was playing "bwocks" with Gus until Linz put the little guy down for his nap. So this is it. The moment we've all been waiting for – the moment I've been dreading for almost two weeks now.

Mel and Linz are sitting in chairs opposite of us, and I'm feeling like this is some kind of test or whatever. They smile, and it's really unnerving. Finally, Linz breaks the silence. "First of all, we want to thank you for coming over at such short notice..." Okay, right. No need to thank us for that. "You see, Mel and I have been talking," uh-oh, that doesn't bode well, "and we came to a conclusion that will hopefully affect the both of you as well." Um, would it be terribly impolite if I grabbed Brian and ran for it? But I can't do that, nice little WASP that I am. Linz smiles, "We decided to have another baby." That's it? That's what caused me some sleepless nights? Okay, not really sleepless, cause Brian fucked me through the mattress as soon as he realised that I wasn't going to sleep like I should, and I was so tired afterwards... We look at each other and breathe a relieved sigh. So it's not the end of the world like we'd feared.

Brian starts to chuckle lowly, and asks, "When and where, Linz? I'm all yours. All you've to do is ask." Then he adds, "Provided you return me to my partner – unspoilt." Now isn't that sweet, and so thoughtful of him? I have to smile. Not just because of that last bit, but because he's so eager, and won't that be a nice tale to tell – at the diner, at Woody's, at Babylon... Though, I am beginning to wonder why Linz is shaking her head at us.

"Actually, we wanted to ask if maybe Justin would be willing to father this child..." Brian seems to have a coughing fit, and all I can do is stare at Linz and Mel. I'm sure I got that wrong. She didn't just ask if I would... Or did she? "We understand that it would be a huge step for you, Justin. But you already are a father to Gus, so we thought..." Fuck it, I'm only nineteen! Some would say I'm still a child myself. I don't think this is a good idea, I really don't. Then again...

"He'll do it." Okay, I'm sure I'm delusional now. Brian wouldn't... But the way he smiles at me, and draws me closer... "You'll make a great dad, Sunshine. I mean, even I didn't fuck up too badly, did I?" I shake my head. "Besides, between you and Mikey, you made sure that I grew up into the man of your dreams." His voice is dripping with sarcasm, and I have to slap him. He takes my hand, and kisses each finger. "Any child you father will be just as wonderful as you are. And with Linz as the mother..."

Linz interrupts, "Well, I won't be... That is... Mel wants to carry this baby..." Mel smiles at me, and Brian tenses. "Don't worry, nothing else would change. You can still be a part of the kid's life and everything..." Shit. No wonder they don't want Brian to father their second child. I bet Mel would have fucking nightmares thinking about giving birth to Brian's kid. "Please, just ... think about it, okay? We love you, and we don't know anyone else who'd be a better father." Bri is staring at them, and then his gaze shifts to me. And then...

He smiles, and nods. "I'm not saying that I'm not shocked here. To be dumped for a younger man always hurts." I punch him. "But this could be your one chance to have your own child. And Linz is right, you'd make a wonderful dad. I mean, you will have to be a perfect dad to make up for the horrid mom this kid'll have." I slap him again, and I hear Mel murmur "was to be expected". Well, it was, wasn't it? I place a gentle kiss on Brian's soft lips, and then smile at Mel and Linz and nod...