Notes: Major cliff-hanger warning!
Chapter 16 - Out of the Frying Pan...
Brian
He's sleeping now, but try as I might, I seem to be unable to follow him to dreamland. And I know that this is really bad since we
have to get up in about four hours again, and I can't show up at the Munchers like the walking dead, can I? It's just whenever I
close my eyes I see his startling blue pools and the anger and hurt... I can't really blame him for it, I know. Yes, we've been
together for five months now together again, that is but it will still be a while until we both are sure that this is it
that we can be like this forever.
I just ... I never knew how deep Justin's insecurities ran. I'm leaning over to caress his soft hair it's shining like liquid
silver in the glow of the blue lights and I wish there was something I could do to erase those parts of our past that caused those
doubts. It was things like the zucchini man whenever he felt safe and assured in our relationship, I went out of my way to show him
his place. When I really tried to show myself that I couldn't have what I desired so badly because I wasn't worthy of it. And yes,
I was scared shitless of losing my Brian Fucking Kinney faηade, because it was all I had. Or so I thought. I broke his heart
so often that I'm actually surprised he's still here. Then again, he's a brave and persistent little fucker, and he always thinks the
best of the people he loves. Unless some asshole comes along and claims that I fell off the wagon... It wouldn't be the first time.
Only, up until now I never climbed that wagon consciously. Because I wasn't ready for it. That's what hurt the most, I'd really
thought he knew.
When he stormed in here, giving his little monologue ... I really thought I was dying. My chest was aching like hell, and for a
second there was this old and familiar thought, 'That's why I don't do relationships. That's why I don't do love. Because it only
hurts you in the long run.' I had to get out of here, had to get away from Justin and his accusations. The little shit was right I
didn't even think about going to Babylon or Woody's and isn't that a heart-warming thought? He knows me so well, and still
he... Fuck that. No, I just wanted to get somewhere safe to lick my wounds. So I drove to Mikey's, and I couldn't believe what he
told me yes, I heard him even though he thought I was too far gone to care. And I suddenly understood no matter what I was doing,
it would never be enough to rid Justin of all doubts. So it would be better if we just...
But when he came over, when I heard his voice ... I was done for. I knew that he was on track again, and I didn't stand a chance. I
had to try anyway. And my attempts to push him away instead of just drawing him close ... I think that was the hardest thing I ever
did in my life. And then he kissed me, and that was that. My resistance was almost gone. I know I'm selfish to keep him, but maybe
that's okay. Maybe I'm entitled to be selfish in this. I just ... it still hurts. Not because I was forced down memory lane again,
no. It hurts because he was in pain and I couldn't do anything about it. Because no matter what I could have said, he wouldn't have
believed me. Not in that moment when his life was falling apart at least that's what he thought. I want to go out there, and find
that fucker, and beat the shit out of him. Cause he hurt my Sunshine.
I gently brush a kiss on Justin's forehead, and he smiles. "You should get some sleep, you know?" Hell yes, I know. But I have to
make sure that he's not just a figment of my imagination. His eyes flutter open, and there's no more hurt and anger in them now, only
sadness because he didn't see through that trick's lie. "I'm not going anywhere, Bri. You can go to sleep, and I'll still be here
when you wake. I promise." Shit, he can see through me so well that it scares me. And at the same time I'm so proud of him and so
fucking glad that he's with me. I wasn't lying last week when I told him that I need him. I need him more than I could ever
need any trick. "Please, Brian... Don't dwell on this. It was ... shit, maybe it was a good thing in the long run. Because from now
on, I know how to handle such situations. I should have gone over to that guy and told him that he must have been delusional cause
there was no way in hell you could have been at Babylon. Instead, I overreacted. But I told you that I would never act like that
again. Can't you ... can't you trust that?"
Is that what he thinks? Fuck! "I'm just angry with that piece of shit for causing you such pain, that's all." Yeah, and it's almost
the truth. He arches a brow because he knows that I'm not telling him everything that bugs me. "And I'm wondering if it's really
worth all this... I mean, there will be others like him. And even though everything goes rather well right now, I know that there
will be times when we will want to kill each other. Are you really sure this is what you want?" Because he could do so much better.
But I know him too well to say that out loud. He'd probably rip my head off.
"Like I'm such a great catch. Ethan nearly killed you, and for many people that would have been enough reason to dump me. Plus, I
have my spells of insanity, the best example being tonight." He smiles ruefully. "And then there's the whole issue of you paying my
way for the time being. You might not be my sugar-daddy, but many will see it like that. Oh, and let's not forget that I'm still a
teenager, so I have some really childish moments, like dressing up in your shirts and dancing around the loft." I have to chuckle.
Even though it's ages ago, I still have some rather vivid memories of that little episode. "So, I'm asking you, Mr Kinney. Are
you really sure that this is what you want?"
Fuck, I hate it when he's so smart. And at the same time, I love him for it. "We are really fucked-up, aren't we?" He grins and nods.
"Very well then, have it your way." Cause I will be damned if I admit how much his little speech means to me. But he's on to
me, and slaps me over the head, and I hear him whisper, "You!" and I can't help laughing at that. He's pushing me back, and makes
himself comfortable on top of me. "Didn't you say we should get some sleep, huh?" He shrugs and begins to trail moist kisses down my
chest. But I stop him before my cock can start to appreciate his ministrations. "Justin, no. Save it for tonight..." I wriggle my
eyebrows, and he nods. He flops down next to me, his left hand tracing lazy patterns on my chest. And suddenly, sleep claims me, and
I see his eyes sparkling with mischief and ... love.
When the fucking alarm goes off, I have to fight the urge to throw it down the steps. Justin mumbles that it's too fucking early, and
that he's not going to get up. "And that's final!" For a moment, I'm considering the option of staying in bed, but then I remember my
plans for today, and I'm not letting anything or anyone even if it's a certain blond twink interfere with them. So I push him off
me and fuck, he's been drooling all over my chest again and start for the bathroom. "Are you coming willingly, or do I have to
get a bucket of cold water?" I've never seen him get out of bed this quickly. I smirk, "Always knew you were a smart little twat." He
slaps my ass, and gets into the shower. I think I have to teach him to respect his elders once more. Not that it'll be a hard feat.
Though something will be very hard indeed.
As soon as I'm in the shower, I push him against the glass wall, and squeeze his lovely little bubble butt. "Didn't your mom tell you
to be polite towards elder people?" He blows a raspberry, and shakes his head. "And here I thought you were a nice little WASP. My,
my, my, Mr Taylor. I think I have to give you a little lecture on manners..." My thumbs are now caressing his puckered hole, and my
cock jumps, itching to be where they are. "You have been a very naughty boy..." I reach for the lube, and prepare him for what's to
come. "I will have to discipline you with my long cane." He snickers, and pushes back. "Are you ready for your punishment?" He moans
and nods. "Very well then. Always remember, you brought this upon yourself." With one fast stroke I enter him, not stopping before my
entire length is sheathed in his velvety channel. "Oh shit!" Even after four months of doing it raw, I'm still amazed at the way he
makes me feel. I can just hope that the novelty will never fade away, because, fuck, it just feels so...
When he pushes back again, I begin to pump in and out with long, hard thrusts. It won't take long, I know it, but I'll still give him
the ride of his life like I always do. His hand is reaching down to jerk his dick, but I push it away. "Oh no, you don't. This is
your punishment, remember? You're not allowed to come until I say so." He shudders, and leans forward to rest his forehead against
the cool glass. "That's it... Can you feel me? I'm buried so deep in you, almost splitting you open." He moans again, and shit, those
lovely noises of his go straight to my cock. I feel like I'm gonna burst any time now, so I whisper, "Go on, you may touch yourself
now." He groans as his hand closes around his leaking shaft, and I'm trying to hold on for just a few more minutes, but it's getting
harder and harder. "Yes, that's the way. Come for me..." The moment these words leave my lips, he tenses and then... His walls
constrict around my cock, and there's nothing I can do anymore but join him in ecstasy.
"Holy fucking shit! That was hot..." Fuck, my voice is hoarse but Justin doesn't seem to care. He just turns his head to capture my
lips in a soul-searing kiss, and if I hadn't come just now, my cock would get hard just from that kiss alone. Not that it takes very
much to get aroused when he's concerned. It's as if something about him speaks directly to my dick, which might be the reason why I
threw my precious rules out of the window for him. That and the air of innocence that just made me want to corrupt him. And even now,
after Hobbs and Ian, there's still some of it left in those beautiful Sunshine smiles. I think those made me fall so fast
and so deeply. His whole face lights up, and sometimes I think I need sunglasses... Yeah, I guess I never stood a chance... I draw
out, bemoaning the loss of his heat around me. "That was..."
"Amazing? Fabulous? Out of this world? More than you ever dreamt of?" He snickers, and I just glare. Not that he isn't right, but I'm
never going to tell him. Wouldn't do to let him know just how pathetic I've become. Because of some stupid twink, who didn't
leave when he was told to. And aren't I glad that he didn't? Oh shit! Get me a strait-jacket, now! "Oh, come on, Brian. You know you
loved it. You always do." Well, yes. The sex is always great, especially now. I huff at him, and his eyes begin to sparkle. I think
of last night, and from where I am now, it seems like little more than a bad dream. A bad dream followed by something like fucking
vows. Cause that's what this whole 'are you sure you want this' business was all about. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm so screwed.
Because I know that one of these days there will be real vows, and I will make an honest man I have to chuckle at the thought, but
then again, I have made a man of him, so why not of him, and he'll love it. The little shit.
---
Justin
Mikey is positively bouncing when Brian and I enter the diner to grab some breakfast before we head to the Munchers. "So, you two are
okay again, yes?" Brian does his usual tongue-in-cheek thing, and raises an eyebrow at his best friend. "You know, next time I'm
going to charge you for my therapist work. And for the motel..." I have to bite the inside of my cheek to not laugh out loud when
Brian embraces Mikey and kisses him softly. That's his way of saying 'Thank you'. Because if there's anything Bri is more afraid of
than the three little words I always wanted to hear from him, it's those two. Mikey shakes his head, and motions for us to join him
and Ben in a booth.
"Still together? Good. Michael was really worried last night." Mikey glares at Ben, but eventually nods. "Even though I told him that
something like last night wouldn't damage you beyond repair, considering the things you got through up until now." I really like Ben.
He's always so calm and so fucking smart. "But, truth be told, I'm also relieved to see you like this. Wouldn't do to spend a day
like this moping..." Uh-oh, if looks could kill, Ben would be dead now. Cause Brian doesn't mope as in ever! It just
isn't something he would do. At least not when there's witnesses around. I've to stifle my chuckle by pretending to cough.
"You know, Professor... I think you mistake me for a certain blond twink." He elbows my arm, and it fucking hurts! "He is our
resident drama princess, not me." Yeah, because Brian is a full-fledged drama queen. "Besides, he once again managed to get
back into my good graces through bribery. Not very WASPish, but who can fault him there? He wanted to get back into my pants, and who
wouldn't..." I punch his chest. "See what I have to put up with? Abuse ... abuse day in, day out. Lucky for him the sex is so
great..." Ben is hiding his face in the menu, and Mikey grins like a loony. And I ... I just snuggle up to my partner, and kiss his
cheek.
He's always trying so hard to seem aloof, but I know what he's really saying. Despite all the shit we are giving each other, our love
is strong enough to weather everything. And yes, the sex really is great, but that's no news. It's been great since that first night,
which we are celebrating today. Our anniversary... I can't believe that it's been two years already. Two years since I first saw the
face of God, two years since I first drowned in the hazel pools of Brian's eyes. Since I fell for him. It wasn't always easy to keep
on loving him what with all the things he did to get rid of me. But I held on, and now we are here, still together, as good as
married, and I'm happier than I ever thought I could be. He turns his head, and our eyes lock. It's as if he can read my mind because
he suddenly smiles and kisses me breathless. "Oh, do get a room, why don't you?" But Mikey's chuckling, and when we finally break
apart, he's winking at us.
I hear the doorbell, and Mikey's smile turns into a frown. I peek towards the door, and see... The fucking trick from last night.
Brian also sees him, and before I can stop him, he's on his feet and stalks over to that piece of shit. "A word of advice, you little
asshole. Next time you want to tell fairy tales, think again. I wouldn't touch you or let you touch me if you were the last man on
the planet. And if you ever claim anything even remotely like that bullshit last night, you're going to regret that you've been born.
And that is a promise." Everyone in the diner is gaping at Brian, and the little fucker is completely terrified. "Oh, and for your
information, that little blond twink over there," he's gesturing towards me, "is a thousand times better than you could ever
be even in your wildest dreams."
And, as if he wants to prove his point, he grabs my hand as soon as he's close enough, drags me out of the booth, and proceeds to
devour me. Shit. This isn't Babylon. He can't claim that this is just a display of his desire to fuck me. This is much more. He shows
the whole world that he, Brian Fucking Kinney, actually cares about me. "No sex in the diner!" Oh fuck, Debbie. Your
timing sucks! And, as Brian would say, not in a positive, life-affirming way. "So get your hands off Sunshine before I am forced to
do something drastic." Talk of ruining the mood. Shit.
But we both know not to anger Deb, so we do as we're told, and sit down again. Debbie comes over, and gives us one of her patented
Debbie Novotny glares. Well, fuck. But then her face softens, and she smiles. "Kiki told me, and I should really kick you,
Sunshine. I never took you for a fucking idiot, unlike other people around here." She's looking pointedly at Brian. "You know, Brian
might be a royal pain in the ass, but he would never, never do something so stupid." Debbie's defending Brian?! "He fucking
loves you." Bri starts to stare at his hands like they are really interesting right now. "And as for you, asshole," she takes Brian's
face in her hands, forcing his head around, "I'm so proud of you. What you just did ... that was a very brave thing to do." Do
I see a tear in the corner of Bri's eye? "You've come a long way, and I'm so happy for you." She pinches his cheeks, and I have to
chuckle. Deb smiles, and then asks, "So what'cha having?" You just have to love her.
The rest of the day passes relatively uneventful. Gus is bouncing because of his presents, and Mel is still a good girl about taking
it easy, so I'm really happy. Then we take Mikey hostage, and he takes us to the airport and we're off to another adventure. New York
is ... I just love it. That first night, we hit the clubs, and when we get back to our hotel room, we re-enact the night two years
ago. Sans condom of course. It's amazing how much he remembers after all, he had forgotten about Gus and his handstands and
juggling. It's really funny how his brain works he can forget about his son, but knows all about me safe for my name, that is.
Isn't that absolutely and ridiculously romantic?
The weekend goes by faster than I would have wanted, and Brian even gets over his antipathy to museums for me. He's so sweet, and no,
I will not tell him I think that. He would only have a major queen-out. And we don't want that, do we?
It's two weeks later now, and we're in the courtroom to hear the verdict. The fucking jury went for Ethan's plea after all armed
assault, my ass! So now we can only hope yeah, with that asshole of a judge... "Mr Gold has been found guilt of armed assault, and
I have been asking myself how a talented young man like him could end up like this. It is clear to me that he wouldn't have acted the
way he did that tragic night under normal circumstances." What the fuck?! "His actions were driven by a feeling of betrayal, and as
such they were not wilful." Holy shit, this is like the Hobbs' trial all over again. "It has been established that Mr Gold owned a
licence for the gun," and I'm still wondering how the fuck he pulled that one, "and that the shooting might have very well been an
accident." The shit it was. "Therefore I have decided to sentence Mr Gold to six months in jail, but since this is Mr Gold's first
crime," why do I get the feeling that he thinks Ethan is the victim here... "the defendant will be placed on probation..."
What?! He nearly kills Brian and gets off free? I never hear anything about the two hundred hours of community service, or the
restriction orders. As if Ethan will pay attention to them.
Fuck it all. Mel had warned us of something like this once the jury had come to their decision. Apparently our dearest judge is a
huge supporter of P.I.F.A., and loves violin music. Great, just great. The D.A. is seething, and Brian looks sick. Ethan, on the
other hand, is grinning like the Cheshire Cat. Yeah, I would, too, if someone had just told me that stalking your ex and almost
killing his lover is perfectly fine. Shit! I stagger to my feet, and embrace Brian. "I'm so sorry." He shakes his head, telling me
not to even start feeling guilty again. "I just don't believe this asshole. Sweet little Ethan he's a fucking nutcase, that's what
he is."
"Don't allow him to get to you, Justin. That's what he wants. We'll just have to show him that despite this fucking sentence we are
still perfectly alright. We won't let it touch us, okay?" He looks at me pleadingly, and I can't do anything but nod. A small smile
spreads over his face, touching his eyes, "Good. Now let's get out of here. Cause we have to celebrate something, don't we?" He's
talking about the show of course. It will open tomorrow, and I'm so excited about it. "Come on, I made reservations at this new
restaurant..."
I can't help myself, I have to ask, "You mean, like a date?" He glares. "And here I thought you don't do dates." The glare
intensifies. "Or are you making another exception for me? Just like the 'no repeats' rule? Or the 'I don't do love' thing?" His way
of answering is to draw me into a passionate kiss, right in front of Ethan's eyes. Take that, you fucker! I guess it's not really
smart to tempt him like that, but fuck, Brian's right. We shouldn't let this sentence interfere with our lives. So I kiss right back,
and when we break apart, I whisper, "Think we could make a detour to the loft?" I bat my lashes at Brian, and he nods. I think I
haven't lost my touch after all.
So after a little fun and games at the loft, we are at that new Thai restaurant now. The food is delicious, and the company even
better. Of course, the conversation eventually gets to the trial, and I think Brian is really okay with the outcome. "After all, Mel
warned us, didn't she? I just... I'm telling you if he gets anywhere near you again, I'm going to kill him. And I'll make sure that
it looks like an accident as well." I reach for his hand and hold on tightly. "He's never going to hurt you again,
never!" As if I was the one who got hurt last time. I gulp down some water and squeeze his finger. "As far as I'm concerned,
Mr Ethan Gold is history, and he shouldn't even try to become part of our current life again."
Of course we both know that's just wishful thinking. And over the next two weeks, I'm seeing more and more of my former fuck
buddy despite the restriction orders. It's the Sunday before Mikey's birthday now, and I just called Brian to tell him that I'm
finally leaving the gallery. Linz and Sidney had a little chat with me, and they actually want me to have my very own show early next
year. Seems like my paintings and drawings sold very well... Linz was bouncing and Sidney apparently thinks of himself as my mentor
now. Not that I mind. It's great actually. And when I tell Brian, I can see right through his nonchalant, "Well, it's about time that
you make some money with your art." He's so fucking proud of me.
I say goodbye to Linz and Sidney, and walk down the dark alley to the Sharan. Brian would have a fit if he could see where I'm
parking, but fuck that. It's closer to the gallery than that stupid garage at the mall. I'm just pondering if I should drop into the
diner to get something to eat cause, knowing Brian, there'll be nothing when I get home when I suddenly hear a movement behind
me. Well, maybe Bri was right about the garage after all. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I'm walking faster, and I can already see the car, only a
few more steps. But then I feel a hand on my shoulder, and something is pressed to my mouth and nose. I try to fight my attacker off,
but it's no use. And then, just before unconsciousness claims me I hear an all too familiar voice whisper, "You are coming
with me..."
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