Chapter 29 - New Arrival

Brian

I should have known. Really. All things considered, I should have fucking known. I might not be suffering from insomnia like I used to, and I'll be damned if that has nothing to do with the little twat that's wrapped around me right now. But going to bed – and sleep – around midnight wasn't a good idea. So now I'm lying awake, and it's only seven fucking a.m. – too early to get up, too late to fall asleep again. Hmm. There is, of course, a third option. What did Justin say? Deb and Vic will show up at nine. That gives us two hours. Only, how do I wake him? Iced water is out of the question, cause he would take offence to it. And I wouldn't get any for a week. Sure, so far he only threatened with no intention of going through with it. But a wake-up call of the icy kind... I'm not taking my chances here. I could always blow him, or maybe even rim him. However, there's a slight catch. He's practically lying on top of me, and unless he's sleeping like the dead, he would notice if his mattress moved from under him. His drooled-upon mattress. Shit.

But I'm trying anyway, and somehow he's still fast asleep when his head hits my pillow. Little fucker. He's so fucking gorgeous – I'm never going to tell him that, of course. The way his hair is tousled, his skin glowing in the soft light of our new lights – they are not over the bed this time, but frame the red field... Not to mention his bubble butt that seems to be talking to my cock. I have to reach out and run my fingers over it. Touching leads to squeezing. And I need to taste him then and there. It's been too long since I've been feasting on his ass – about a week or so – and I'm starving for him. Once again, I'm never going to tell him just how much I want him, how much I fucking need him. It's not like he doesn't know that already, which is completely fucked and just goes to show how completely I lost control over my life. And I don't even care. Isn't that pathetic? Anyway, I was about to rim him, and I'm going to savour each and every moment of it.

As I'm spreading him open, the brooding side of myself catches up with me – again. As if I didn't have enough of that shit yesterday. As it is, I'm remembering our first night – surprise – and I have to admit that I grew addicted to him there under the blue lights. 'Yet another thing that made him special, Kinney. How stupid you were not to realise it.' Oh, fuck off! I don't need my fucking subconscious to remind me of what an idiot I was, I can do that on my own. Well, I'm no idiot anymore. I know what I want, and I know what I have with Justin. And I'm so fucking lesbian once more, shit! I've to shut up my wayward mind, and what better way to do that... I lick a path down Justin's crack, loving the feel of his warm skin. When I reach his pucker, I'm circling it a few times before thrusting my tongue inside. I think he's about to wake up – if his moans are anything to go by, that is. "Bri..." Oh yes, definitely waking up here. "More..." Your wish is my command, Sunshine. My face is still buried in his ass while I'm groping for the lube. Fuck, it fell off the bed somewhere around here, didn't it? Ah, there it is. I'm coating my cock and give his hole one last swipe before replacing my tongue with my dick.

Once I'm fully sheathed, I'm pulling Justin onto his knees. He rests his head on his arms and I have to smile in a rather self-satisfied way at the look of utter bliss on his face. We are both painfully hard, and won't last long. Knowing that, I begin to jerk him off right away, and begin to thrust in and out of his pliant body. And I'm thanking whatever deities are out there that he didn't buy the shit I was giving him after our first night. You wanted me and I wanted you. That's all it was. Boy, was I wrong there. But I was brilliant at lying to myself, so... As I'm driving into him now, listening to those sweet little sounds he makes, I know for certain that this is it. This is what Mikey has been talking about all along. What he tried to find with Dr Dave, what he found with Ben. The knowledge that no matter what happens, you always have someone to come home to, someone you can fuck into oblivion whenever you feel like it, someone you can love and who loves you in turn. No apologies, no regrets. I was right about that after all. Cause after my little chat with Mikey, I finally know that neither the bashing nor Ian were my fault. At least as far as the shooting and the kidnapping are concerned. And I'm not even sure I should regret the whole fiddle fuck affair. After all, it got us here.

"Bri..." Still with you, Sunshine. Just bitten by the mushy bug yet again. Happens awfully often lately. Justin reaches for my left hand that's resting on his hips, twining our fingers. And somehow, that does it for me and I'm filling him, feeling him fall apart around me. Holy fucking shit! Once we break apart, facing each other across the pillows, he giggles, "Fuck! Now that's a way I want to wake up each and every morning." Yeah, go on dreaming, Justin. "So... Whatever happened to 'When the fucking alarm goes off at eight, you'll be the one to get up'? Huh? Not that I mind, of course. But it's not even eight yet, and you're ... well ... more than awake, and I don't see you rolling over to get some more shut-eye." Little shit. "Why don't you switch off the alarm and we take this to the shower? That way we can enjoy our protein breakfast, and maybe even a real one in the kitchen. Before Vic and Deb claim it as their new realm." Don't remind me of that.

One and a half hours later we are freshly showered and have had two rather nourishing breakfasts – I can just hear Debbie: "You need to eat some proteins off a plate, you asshole." Says who? I'm about to clear away the mugs and bowls when the doorbell rings. Justin insisted on getting one with the fucking Big Ben chime, and I'm positively sick of it. Fucking WASP that he is. What will be next? The Union Jack on the roof? Or in front of the house? But he seems to love it, so I will have to endure. Fuck, the things I do for him. "I'm going!" Yeah, you better do. Because I'm going to run and hide. But I'm not fast enough. Vic joins me before I manage to close the dishwasher. Shit.

"Oh, there he is. Sis! I found him." What the fuck is going on now? Apart from a fucking hug-fest. "You know, Brian. We were wondering if you might want to help us..." Help you? Help you cook? No fucking way! Not going to happen, Vic! Under no circumstances. Ten minutes later, I'm standing in our kitchen cutting up vegetables. I'm even wearing an apron! Me! Brian Fucking Kinney! And am I hearing what I think I'm hearing? "Okay, Justin. You win. Here are your twenty bucks." They were betting on this? How fucked is that? I'm seriously considering leaving for greener pastures. But then Justin snuggles up to me – there really is no other word for it – and kisses the nape of my neck, and everything's alright once more. Especially when he tells me that he'll invest the money he just made in a new tube of lube. We seem to be running out of it again. And I've no clue how that happened.

"If you are only going to make out in the kitchen, get the fuck out of here." Um. I'd really love to, Deb. But Justin gives me a stern look, and I know that I'm going to have to play nice – all fucking day. Well, that's alright with me, providing he doesn't complain about his sore ass tomorrow. I smile at Debbie, who just glares, "Don't give me that look, asshole. I know how you two are. I turn my back on you for just a minute, and you are all over each other. Not that I don't approve, don't get me wrong. But right now, we really need your help. There will be eight people that haven't been around last year, so..." Oh yes, she's right. Blake is joining the family dinner for the first time, and so are Claire and my nephews, Jen and Molly, and of course Kat and Mr De Valera. "Sunshine? Are you sure the table is big enough?" Uh-oh. I never thought of that. We will be ... um... No way. Nineteen people will never fit on a table made for eight!

"Well, no... I was thinking the kids could sit at the coffee table. And maybe Linz could play supervisor." Okay, but that leaves us with fifteen people, and the table is still only made for eight. "And we can add at least four chairs to the dining table." And there's still three guests without a place to eat. "Bri and I will stick around the kids, which also solves the problem of who's going to take care of Gus..." I didn't know my son was a problem. And did he just suggest that I eat at the fucking coffee table? What the fuck! "It will work, you'll see." Oh no, it won't.

"This is never going to work, Jus, and you know it. So, here's the plan. Vic, Justin's desk is about the same height as the dining table. If we get it over here, we could all sit together... It might be cramped, but..." Vic beams, and Justin imitates a carp. Didn't think of this possibility, did you, Sunshine? A few minutes later, the desk – it's hardly more than an ordinary table because Justin prefers to keep all his odds and ends in a separate cupboard – anyway, the desk is aligned with the dining table, and Justin starts setting everything while I return to my vegetables. Did I really just think that? My vegetables? Fucking domestic life.

Around eleven, the Munchers and Gus show up – Melanie is getting bigger and bigger, and I just hope she gives birth soon, or else she might explode. And Justin would probably be just a little sad about that, the child being his and all of that. Linz has made some salads and cookies, and my partner is overly eager to help her carry everything inside. "Sunshine, if you eat half the cookies now, you won't be able to eat any turkey." He sticks out his tongue, and calls me "Mom". Mel chuckles. "Do shut up. It's amazing Linz managed to get the food here. You look as if you ate a whole turkey – for breakfast." Usually this would have been enough to cause a full-blown temper tantrum, but today...

"Oh, the asshole is back. How I missed you. But I haven't forgotten the other Brian, oh no. You have to try harder – dad!" Fuck. She's still on about that. "You know, I've said it before, and I'll say it again – you and Justin would make for some brilliant parents." Would it be terribly impolite to strangle a pregnant woman? Why doesn't she just drop it? Oh right. Because she's Mel. "But don't worry. Your secret's safe with me – for the time being." Fuck her! Justin and Linz are back, carrying the food and a ton of presents – or so it seems – while my son is trailing along behind them, munching on one of Linz' cookies.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Linz calls Mel sweetheart? I think I'm going to be sick. "Do you need anything? Water, juice... Or maybe a cookie?" Melanie fends Linz off and drops down on the sofa. "Um, alright then. Justin? Would you help me get the presents spread out under the tree?" She turns to Gus, "And you know what we discussed, little man. You will wait until everyone is here. Then we open the gifts Santa brought." He nods, but still ogles all the colourfully wrapped parcels around the Christmas tree. "Oh, Debbie. You're already here. I've brought some cookies and salad, where do you want me to put it all?" I think this is my cue to head out and pick up my sister. Let the women take over the kitchen. It's only my house, so why should I care? Justin looks kind of scared as well, and for a moment I think he'll ask me if he can accompany me. But that wouldn't be like him. He's a brave little fucker after all, not a coward like me.

He just walks me to the door, and kisses me goodbye. Shit, I'm really beginning to feel like some fucking hetero husband and my little wifey is kissing me before I leave for work or something. "Drive carefully, okay." Fuck! Will you stop it, Sunshine? "I need you ... they are starting to scare me. Especially Linz. I've never seen her like this." Aww, my poor baby. Are you afraid of the evil dykes? "I wish I could come with you, you know? But I'm afraid they might take the house apart, so..." Good boy. Though, I'm really not too happy when I pull out of our driveway. But Justin is tough, he's going to survive – I hope...

---

Justin

"I can't believe them. They are so wonderful..." I know that Brian is rolling his eyes at my antics, but I'm so fucking happy. Our friends and family have outdone themselves with their gifts. There are numerous things for the new house, but also more personal things like CDs and a few DVDs. The only thing I wasn't sure about was Mikey's gift. The bonsai had been Ben's idea, and I'm just in love with the small acorn tree. But the CD of Beethoven's Concerto for Violins... After all the trouble with Ethan, I really didn't think that was such a brilliant idea. But Brian surprised me. He just smiled and said that it was about time he got over his absurd fear of violins. Which had been Mikey's intend, I guess.

I'm turning around to face my partner. "So, what were you and Mel doing in your study for so long? And why did you drag my Mom in there with you?" He just smirks. Ah. This has to do with your newest secret. I see. I'm sure I can get Mel to tell me, somehow. After all, our child will be born soon, so... We are going to have a special connection. I'm sure Brian is already looking forward to that. The Munchers are going to be a constant presence in our house, and even though he's going to act like it's bothering him to no end, I know for a fact that he's actually thrilled at the prospect. It will enable him to finally become the father he always wanted to be, but never thought he could be. And not only to Gus. He's going to spoil the new baby rotten, and Mel and Linz are going to throw fits all the time. But that's part of the deal. After all, Mel said that Brian would be the evil stepfather.

I gaze around the living room, and it's finally sinking in. This is our house. Home. The loft is my studio now, and our refuge if Britin is too far away. And even though I meant every word I said about the loft, this house... It's just... It's so much more of a commitment than any papers or blow jobs in backrooms could ever be. "You're thinking too much, Sunshine. Don't." Caught in the act. "If you don't know what to do, I'm sure I could come up with something..." Those sultry eyes are practically begging me to pick him up on his offer. But I can't. The kitchen is a mess, and the dining room doesn't fare any better. Deb and Vic offered to help with the clean-up, but I told them to leave it to me. To us. After all, they did all the cooking. I shake my head at Brian, who sighs. "Well, okay then. Let's get to work, shall we?" Wait a second. Is he offering to help me? "Justin? You coming?" Always, Brian...

When we are finally done with all the dishes, stemware and whatever else there is, we are so tired that we can't do anything but blow each other before falling asleep. The rest of the Holidays passes relatively uneventful – apart from the fact that that asshole judge finally got his comeuppance. Mel was virtually bouncing – as much as a pregnant woman can bounce – when she told us on the thirties. He's been forced to resign before his time, losing a major chunk of his pension. Mel also said that she found out more about Ethan. He's at the Allegheny, in the closed ward. It seems to be too early to make any predictions yet, but somehow we managed to get Kathy to agree to keep us informed. Brian thinks it's a waste of time, but I can't help it... I still feel responsible for it all – in some roundabout way. I know that I didn't force Ethan to do all the things he did, no. But I thought he was a friend. And I liked him.

January starts, and I'm back at P.I.F.A. – I really didn't miss much during those few days that I skipped classes to work on the logo. And I think it's time for a new poster, because Stockwell finally responded to the first one, turning it into a joke. Well, I think he's the biggest joke of them all... So when I drop by the agency on the twenty third, Brian and I sit down to design a new poster. Even Gardner shows up, saying that Stockwell's a fucking laughing stock. That's it. That's what we're going to write on it. I'm doing all the copy work in record time and we are just about to head out for another poster-spree, when my cell goes off. "Justin. Is that you?" No, Linz. It's Bigfoot answering my phone. "Listen, it's happening. Mel's water just broke, and I've called the ambulance. They are going to pick us up any moment now. You'll come, yes? To the Allegheny?"

Um... Um... I think I'm shaking, and Brian snatches the phone from my fingers. "What's up? What? Okay. Linz, calm down, okay? Everything's going to be fine. Just relax. Mel's going to need your strength. We are on our way." Bri takes my hand and pulls me close. "It's alright, Sunshine. Don't worry. You're going to be a father, that's all." I'm frightened. Hell, I'm fucking terrified. What if something happens? "Justin! You are scaring me. Stop this shaking, okay?" He's kissing my forehead. "Please? Justin? Don't do that to me. This is no reason for a fucking panic attack. Fuck!" I'm sorry, I really am. But I just can't help it. "Jus... Look at me. Everything is going to be fine. And whatever happens, I'll be there with you. We'll do it all together..." He's leading me to the elevators, and I hear him explain the situation to Vance. His arm is around my shoulders, his hand stroking my upper arm. "Justin? It'll be okay. I promise..." And that's what calms me. Brian never makes a promise lightly.

"I'm just so nervous... What if something goes wrong with Mel? What if I'm a bad father... I'm still so young and..." The look he gives me tells me not to finish that sentence. "You'll be there, won't you? All the way?" He smiles and nods. We've reached the garage by now, and pass the Sharan. I couldn't drive now. So we take the jeep and arrive at the hospital only a few minutes after Mel and Linz. Gus is with Deb, apparently Mikey picked him up. For some reason, the nurse won't let us go to Mel, and it's just as well, cause I'm not sure I want to witness the Miracle of Life. So we just sit there in the waiting area, and I know I'm driving Brian nuts with my fidgeting. But I can't stop myself.

Suddenly Linz shows up ... smiling. "You ... you're a father, Justin. Of a beautiful little girl..." She hugs me tightly, and for once Brian doesn't complain. "She's so tiny, and so wonderful. The doctor said everything is fine, even though she was a little early." Thank God. "Come on, she wants to see you – both of you." She winks at Brian, and runs off again. And then Brian's arms are around me, holding me tightly. It's really happened. I'm a father. Holy shit. A father. Me! I can hardly grasp it. We follow Linz, and then I see her – my daughter. Mel is holding her, and she's smiling like I never witnessed before. It's so open and happy and... Fuck, I'm babbling. "Do you want to hold her?" This time, Linz isn't addressing Brian, but me. I reach for my small baby girl, Brian's arms wrapped around me again, and we both gaze at our new child. Just like Gus, she will have two mommies and two daddies who will love her and protect her.

"Justin... We never talked about this before, but... I was thinking of a name. How do you like 'Jenny-Rebecca'." Um... "You know, 'Jenny' for her grandmother, and..." I can only nod. Fuck. Mom is going to be thrilled. I made her a grandmother. And I'm not even twenty yet. And my father... He's going to have kittens over it. Particularly when he finds out that the mother of his grandchild is a dyke. Now that'll be fun. "We should call Father Tom and set a date for the Christening and all the legal stuff." Once again, I can only nod. I'm too awed by the tiny human being I'm holding in my hands.

"Well, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you are going to be bad as new, soon. The whale was getting on my nerves." Leave it to Brian to destroy the spell of the moment. "But I have to admit that you and Justin ... you created a beautiful girl. Well, must be Justin's genes..." Oh, he's lucky I'm holding my child, or else I'd slap him for that comment. "Seriously Mel, she's lovely. Do you... Do you think I could take her for a moment or two?" Could it be that he was just as nervous as I was? And still he managed to keep it all together for my sake. No surprise that I love him so much... Mel chuckles, and motions for him to take our daughter. I'm stepping back, and I'm stunned by his tenderness. "Stop staring, Sunshine, and take the fucking photo you're dying to take." Shit, and I thought I was onto him...

About an hour later, Mom and Molly are joining us, plus half of Lesbian Pittburgh. "Oh Melanie, she is so sweet. Just like her daddy after he was born." Shit, I really don't want to hear this. "I'm so proud of you ... both of you. And she's a lucky babe, to be born into such a warm and loving family." Okay, I need to get out of here, now! Brian seems to realise my little predicament, and drags me out of the room and onto the roof. It's icy up here, and the wind doesn't make it any nicer. But at least we are alone for the time being, and there are no cooing grandmothers, aunts or dykes to be seen.

"When Gus was born, I was up here with Mikey." Ah, so that's where the two of them went. I had wondered. "And I... I was fucking scared. Me and a kid. Especially after I held him and fell head over heels." He catches my gaze, "Happened more than once that night..." You don't say. "Anyway, I was scared of growing older. Fuck, I was climbing the ledge and... Today though, it's different. And not because Jenny isn't my child." He smiles. "It's because I'm with you now. I don't have to worry about being young and beautiful forever anymore, since you don't love me for my admittedly stunning exterior, do you?" I shake my head and grin. "Jenny will grow up in a loving family, just like your mother said. Because we love each other."

"Hmm, does that mean you actually love Mel?" He shudders and tells me not to expect miracles. But I think he really does. She's his friend just like Linz is. Otherwise he wouldn't have taken her to her class, wouldn't have done all the things he did for her. Even though he'll be the first to say that those things were for Linz, not Mel. Yeah, right. And now... "I can't believe it... I'm a father. I have a child. A sweet little girl. It'll be hard to sign over my parental rights... But we'll get guardianship, which is almost as good as being her legal parent." He holds me tight, and we watch the snow falling around us. And I can hardly wait to see what the future holds for us now...