Chapter 37 - Time to Celebrate

Brian

By the time we return after our little private celebration – which also included trying out the bed and deeming it usable – Father Tom has left to see to his congregation of idiots. I mean, there are better ways to spend the Easter Holidays than to drag your sorry ass to church. I can at least say that my ass isn't sorry at all that it didn't get to any mass today. On the contrary. It's quite happy about today's events. Justin was inspired for some reason – I guess his enthusiasm has something to do with his newest piece of jewellery, but who knows what's going on in that blond head of his... I certainly don't, and I'm not even sure I want to. I guess some things are better left in the dark. Deb once told me that nothing kills a relationship faster than full disclosure, and I'd hate for that to happen to Justin and me. Shit, I need a drink. This whole wedding business is making me go all mawkish and that's simply not me. It isn't!

Anyway, Father Tom is gone, and Jen tells us that he wishes us all the best and stuff. Yeah, right! Like I give a fuck about the things a fucking priest says. Unless it has to do with St. Joan. Somehow I hope he drops the news in front of her. That should become interesting. She might have a heart attack and die from shock. And then she would find out that the afterlife in hell isn't as nice as she always thought it would be. Cause there's no way that she'll go to heaven, providing there is something like that. If Ben is right, she'd be reborn as a maggot, or a slimy snail. Maybe that would teach her a lesson. Or maybe not. She was always so sure that she did the right thing... Shit! Why am I thinking about her? Today of all days? Is it possible that I want her here to support me like Jen is supporting Justin? No. That's impossible. I have my family with me. Including two mothers who are set on smothering us to death.

Though Deb is alternating her hugs of doom with slaps to the back of my head. "You had to do that just now, you little asshole! Show all of us what your relationship is based on, yes?" She lets go of me, and I see her smile at me. "Only, it's not true, is it? You love Sunshine. And you dragged him away because you were afraid that people would figure it out. Sorry to tell you, but they already know." She reaches up and drags my head down so she can plant a kiss on my cheek. Then she slaps me again. "But what the fuck were you thinking not telling me about it? Or Michael? We are your family, aren't we?!" Well, Vic knew... However, I don't think it would be a wise move to tell her as much right now. "Then again, I probably wouldn't have been able to keep my big mouth shut, so I forgive you this once." I really don't want to be relieved, don't want her approval to mean so damn much to me... But I can't help it. She's always been more of a mother for me than Joanie. And I needed her to like ... to love me.

But her love never came free. I had to pay for her affection just as much as I had to pay for Mikey's. I took the part of the scapegoat, always to be blamed if Mikey screwed up. He got a D at school – I had dragged him off to fuck around instead of letting him study. He never found a boyfriend – I kept him on the hook. Which I did, but not for the reasons he came up with. I was afraid of losing him, afraid that he could turn his back on me. Things were different with Justin. His love was always unconditional, which was fucking terrifying. I didn't know how to handle it. But I learnt, and before I knew it, he'd claimed my heart as well. And now – now we are married and I couldn't be happier. He changed my life for the better, but not only mine. Debbie has picked up a thing or two, and Mikey... I guess he will always be whiny if he wants to get his way, but other than that, he's become the friend he always thought he was. My best friend who doesn't demand anything from me, but who is thrilled that things are working out so well for Justin and me. And who's gloating just a little bit because he helped us more than a little on our journey to this moment. Did I mention that I need a fucking drink?

First, however, there is something I have to do. As soon as Deb releases me, I'm giving Emmett the sign to put on the music, to put on that song. While we were engaging in carnal activities, our guests have relocated to the ballroom – I swear Jen will never manage to sell this house cause who can afford a private ballroom? – which is just as well because it enables me to begin Phase 2 of The Plan right away. I catch Jennifer's gaze – shit, she's really my mother-in-law now – and ask, "Mind if I borrow your son?" Justin gasps, realising what I'm trying to re-enact here. I lead him to the centre of the dance floor while someone dims the lights and then we hear the first beats of Save the Last Dance, and somehow we are transported through time and space and are back at his Prom, swaying together.

He's beaming like he did that night, and the only difference is that I don't have a white silk scarf that I'm wrapping around his neck. I could have done that, I guess. Could have brought the scarf he gave me for my birthday last year. But I think it would have given us the creeps ... and Daphne. Who's currently crying like a baby. Apparently she thinks this is all so very sweet or something equally mushy. Well, fuck that. This isn't some romantic bullshit. This is my attempt to turn something ugly into something ... um ... nice. Because when he regained his memory of the dance, he also remembered everything that happened in the garage. More so that before. When all he could recall was me calling his name and the bat hitting his temple. Now he knows how we were goofing around, and how I made the biggest fucking mistake of my whole fucked-up life and let him go. And whenever he is somehow reminded of the dance... Well, you get the picture. But no more. From now on, he won't think of the Prom, or not only of the Prom, when he hears the song. He'll think of today.

I'm spinning him around just like I did two years ago when Ben E. King sings "Oh I know that the music's fine..." and we do all the fancy moves I told him about when we were trying to re-awaken his memories. Which almost made me fall apart because I so wanted him to remember – wanted him to know what this dance had meant to me, to us. That the song had been describing my feelings for him so fucking perfectly that I was this close to freaking out. A few days ago, Daphne told me that she knew it then, knew that I loved Justin. She'd been a little worried that I would never show him, but after that dance... His hands have slipped down to undo the buttons of my jacket, and he's slowly peeling it off my shoulders, and as soon as I pull my arms out of the sleeves, he throws it to Daph, grinning like the lunatic he sometimes is. A few spins later – I'm once again wondering if he's not getting dizzy – I'm dipping him, and when he comes up our lips meet in a heated kiss, and everyone's clapping their hands, and I know that the moment I look, I will find that his cheeks and maybe even his ears have reddened with embarrassment. Honestly, you should think that after almost four years of knowing me – four years of my divine influence – he'd have lost the ability to blush.

The song's slowly ending, and the lights are back on, and I see Daphne rush to our side, throwing my jacket back at me before throwing her arms around Justin. Okay, something isn't right here, boys and girls. The little shit belongs with me now, and she's no reason to be all over him. None whatsoever. I'm about to tell her as much, and might even drag her away, when Linz attacks me. In other words, she's first kissing me and then she hugs me in a way that makes me wonder once again if she has taken lessons with Deb. And then she grins, "Come on, Brian, say it! Say, 'Thank you, Lindsay, for forcing me to accompany you to those dancing classes. I was completely and utterly wrong when I said that I'd never need this shit.' I know you want to say it..." I give her my tongue-in-cheek smirk. I will say no such thing. I'm never going to thank her for the worst nights of my life – well, with the exception of that night two years ago. I knew how to dance even before those brilliant classes. I only chose not to show it. I mean, I'm Brian Fucking Kinney. I don't have to be the perfect dancer at Babylon to get laid. And ever since Justin came along, my club dancing has improved, I think.

"Linz, Linz, Linz. Dearest Linz..." She glares. "I might have gotten hitched, but that doesn't mean I'm completely insane. You want me to thank you for those hellish lessons? No way! The times you trod onto my feet aside, the instructor was a fucking bore. And you'd promised me that he was so hot." Okay, I fucked him anyway, but that's beside the point. "Which just goes to show that you're better off as a dyke because your taste in men is abysmal. With one exception, of course." I grin, and see Justin shake his head. What?! Just because I've been monogamous for the past year doesn't mean that I've forgotten that everyone – be it a man or a woman – should feel honoured to be with me. And Linz had me more than once. So she should be eternally grateful to me. Not the other way around. Not to mention that I enabled her to have a child of her own, though I've to admit that I'm kind of enjoying being a father, so she doesn't have to thank me for that ... not too much, at least.

She nods, and casts her eyes to the floor. "You are right, I grant you that. My taste in men is pretty dismal. But yes, there's one exception. That night with that Jeffrey, or was it Jeremy – you know, the star quarterback – that was great." It's final. Gus is going to be short a mother pretty soon. Cause Lindsay just signed her own death sentence. And it won't be pretty. But Linz won't be alone. Oh no. Justin seems to have a death wish of his own because he's giggling helplessly, leaning on Daphne for support. I should have known. Now that he managed to get what he always wanted – namely my hand in marriage – he shows his true colours. I mean, I always knew that his whole I'm so sweet and innocent act wasn't true - even that first night when he was still a virgin. He already knew how to push all the right buttons then, and things grew only worse with every passing day. Oh no. He was never innocent or sweet. And I know for a fact that he can be a little devil if he chooses to. But now he lets everyone see that he's a complete nutcase. And what does that say about me? The man who married him... I don't want to think about that.

Mel joins us, obviously dying to know what's so funny. And the two delinquents are only too happy to enlighten her. Now how can I kill the lot of them? Poison? A SWAT squad? Or rather, some hired assassins? I'm about to replace the original Phase 3 with my new plan when Justin wraps his arms around me, reminding me once again how fucked I really am. I think it's his eyes. Eyes like his should be forbidden. So big and blue that you're drowning in them before you even know it. And when you realise your predicament, it's too late. You're under their spell and they are like the most perfect designer drug, and you don't really want to break free. Your new goal in life is to make sure that they are always smiling, that they never well with tears of sorrow. Of course, if you're Brian Kinney, you're bound to screw that up royally. And you should thank a God you don't believe in because despite all the shit you put him through, despite all the times he cried his beautiful eyes out over you, there was something he saw in you that made him come back like a boomerang. And I'd really like that drink now.

"I love you, Brian. Thank you..." I swear Daphne and Linz are cooing. Okay, Justin might behave like a baby at times, but he certainly isn't one. So cut the crap! Justin hears as well and buries his face in my jacket, evidently dying with embarrassment again. Shit! Here goes nothing and I'm telling him that I love him as well – in front of the girls, no less – and that makes him raise his head. And that look in his eyes tells me that it's been worth it, even though we are surrounded by fucking lezzy vibes and will probably end up being dykes ourselves. But that's okay as long as we both turn into lesbians. All right, I need my drink, now! And if they think that I'm a pathetic loser who can't survive his own wedding without a little JB help, so be it. They'd be right anyway. So while all our guests are slowly moving to the dining room, I'm making my way to the bar to see if my long-time friend can help me through this as well. However, there is no Beam, so I'm forced to get a double shot of Chivas Regal, and as soon as the liquor burns its way down to my stomach, I'm feeling like I can really do this.

I hadn't noticed that Justin was following me, and I can't stop myself from smiling as I see him down a shot of his own. "We are so pathetic, Sunshine. Here we are, on our fucking wedding day, drowning our sorrows in alcohol. How very decadent..." Decadent? Hmm, that sounds about right. So I get another shot, and so does he, and then he informs me that he doesn't drown any sorrows, but his shock, thank you very much. And that this is my fault. "That's nice, Sunshine. Here I thought that I did something really great for you, and now this... Whatever happened to gratefulness, huh?" He says that he already showed me how grateful he is, and I shouldn't push it. "I think I have to call Father Tom and tell him that I made a big mistake..." He grabs me, and silences me by thrusting his tongue into my mouth. Little shit! I'm about to drag him upstairs again when the monster announces that it wants to be fed. Perfect timing. I break the kiss and drag him to the dining room.

---

Justin

We're married. We are really and truly married! It's like Brian said, this is fucking unbelievable. But it's true. The platinum bands on our left ring fingers are prove of that. Come to think of it... I'm turning to Brian who is busy fending off Debbie who is trying to make him try just a tiny little bit of the zabaione she made. I think I'm finally seeing through his little plan. He told everyone who wasn't in on the real thing that he thought today was a good day to have a family celebration. Though, when I look around me, there can't have been many people who didn't know. Em knew, the Munchers did, Cynthia and Gardner must have been in on the whole thing as well, and Mom of course. Not to mention Ted who apparently picked something up at the agency. And Daphne, who will pay for this. Oh yes, she will so pay for this. Brian is about to lose his battle with Deb, and I sweep in to his rescue. "Um, Deb? I'd like a little more please. It's delicious." My husband gives me a little smile in thanks, and I grin. As soon as his surrogate mother is out of our hair I ask, "So ... how come you got a ring that fits me when we never went to a jeweller together..."

He pushes his tongue into his cheek and grins, "Didn't anyone tell you? I'm very resourceful if I want to be." Yeah, and silent as dead fish if you don't want to tell me something. I elbow him and he complains, "Hey, I didn't sign on for S/M, at least not yet..." He wriggles his eyebrow, and I have to giggle. "Anyway, I took the necessary measurements while you were in dreamland one night in London." Oh... "After all, I couldn't exactly ask you what your ring size was, could I? And Jennifer didn't know..." Mom is so dead. How long did she know about this? Without telling me! Some mother she is. Actually, she's been really great. To think that she helped Brian with this... A year ago, she wouldn't have. She would have thought that Brian was only fooling around, that the whole thing was his idea of a joke. And now...

Now she's approaching with this strange smile, and I'm getting just a little scared. I mean, I love her, but she can be pretty persistent if she wants something. Just like me. I guess I got it from her. "Brian... Would you mind if I stole my son away for a few moments?" Hello? Sitting right here. Brian tells Mom to go right ahead, which earns him a death glare. Still, I follow Mom out onto the terrace where she turns to face me. "I'm proud of you, Justin..." Um, thanks, I guess. "I never thought I'd live to see this day." Who has? I mean, those contracts last year were more than I ever hoped for. But this... I never even dared to dream of it.

Not after Brian told me what he thought of getting married on Mel and Linz' wedding day before leaving for the White Party in Miami. I told him that stranger things had happened and he suggested that I needed a good fucking on the beach. Only later did he tell me that he had wanted to stay on, had even been willing to give our tickets to Mel and Linz so they could have a honeymoon. I think I've never been angrier at Linz than I was then. Brian thinks she wasn't ready to accept that he was capable of changing, and while that might be true she still had no right to do this to us. Who knows... We might have been able to avoid the whole shit with Ethan. Or we could have ended up fighting so badly that we wouldn't have been able to get back together. So maybe she was right. Doesn't mean I've to like it...

Mom gives me a funny look and I think she kept on talking while I took a trip down memory lane. Fuck. "Justin? Are you alright?" I nod and she smiles, "As I was saying, I should have known he was really serious about all of this when he came up with those contracts. Or when you two went to Paris, Vermont, and New York. I guess I began to believe it when he bought the house. And now..." Shit. She's beginning to cry, "I'm so happy for you two. You had to fight so hard and now... You're married! Of course, I'd always hoped I'd gain a daughter, not another son because one has been more than enough for me..." Hey! What the fuck is that supposed to mean? "But I guess Brian isn't all that bad. He won't cheat on you with his secretary..." Shit! She had to bring up Dad today, didn't she? "I'm sorry, Justin. Because I couldn't make him understand. I think he never really wanted to. He wanted you to be his perfect son, and you are... He just can't see it. You have found a loving partner, have a beautiful home, and a wonderful family. And the fact that your partner is a man shouldn't matter, should it?"

Right now, the only thing that matters is not to laugh out loud, cause I'm just picturing Brian's reaction to being called my loving partner. But Mom's right, and I'm amazed that she thinks like that. I can still remember how she reacted at first. She wasn't exactly happy, especially when she got to meet Brian. But I was right when I told him that she didn't hate him completely. She was worried for me, thought he was using me. Well, if he was, then I was using him just as much. I guess the moment she realised that Brian did care about me was at the hospital. When he spent the first three days there until he knew that I would survive the bashing. And when he came back every night to guard my sleep. To think that she wanted him to stay away from me after that... "Mom? Was he ever there? At the hospital? Did he even care if I lived or died?" She's turning pale, and I have my answer. "Don't worry. It doesn't really matter anymore. I just wanted to know."

"Justin, he called. But he simply refused to believe what Chris Hobbs had done, or rather, why he had done it. And he blamed you for it. And Brian. I didn't want them to have a showdown, because I think Brian wouldn't have reacted very well to your father's accusations." And that's a nice way of putting it. Brian was always there to stand up for me, even if it was in front of my father. I guess I should have seen that for what it was – an obvious sign that he loved me. Mikey knew, which was probably one of the reasons for that nice little charade he was playing with Dr Dave. Because he wasn't all that happy about his best friend. "And later... He asked Molly about you, but... Justin, you know how he is. You stood up to him, lived the life you had chosen and not the one he'd picked out for you. You defied him, and he doesn't react very well to that." I nod. "But let's not talk about him today. This is your day." Why do I feel like the blushing bride right now? "And the fact that Brian decided to do this today, it should tell you that he wants to replace the bad memories with good ones. The best really."

She's right again. "Yeah, and he did it so he doesn't forget our anniversary," I'm only half joking. Mom snickers. "Mom, I never thought this would ever happen. It just wasn't something Brian Kinney would have done. I guess I was like all the others, unwilling or unable to see how much he'd changed. He's still himself, of course, but an improved version." I gaze at the little fountain in the garden – or should we say park – and continue, "When I first met him, before I learnt what he would and what he wouldn't do, part of me was dreaming of something like this. I wanted him to be my boyfriend. And then I figured out that that wasn't something he was able to give me, so I took what I could get, and slowly he opened up more and more. Last year when he came up with those contracts, I thought that was as far as it would ever get, and now..."

"Now you two are married. And your marriage will be as unusual as your whole relationship has been up to this point. Which isn't exactly a bad thing. You have two beautiful children who love you, and who knows, maybe one day..." What is she trying to insinuate here? That Brian and I could have a child of our own at some point? Yeah, right. Now that is really something that I can't see. Not that I wouldn't like it, even love it. To be a full-time parent. But I guess I'm asking for miracles here. Then again... This whole day is more than a miracle. It's as if the Twilight Zone merged with the Fairy Tales by the Grimm brothers. Really, that's how I felt earlier. "Well, I think I've hogged you for long enough and you want to return to your dearly beloved." Brian would have a fit if he could hear her. Speak of the devil...

"Are you two going to stay out here for the rest of the day, or did you intend to return my husband to me at some point, Jennifer? Or should I call you Mom now?" The last is said with his shark-like grin in place, but I think Brian doesn't know a damn thing about my mother. Because she hugs him and kisses him, and I think he's close to calling for help. But he endures, and when she finally lets go of him, the grin is back and he says, "You might wanna check on your darling daughter. She's wrecking havoc – won't let anyone get near the ice creams." That gets Mom moving. And I know that the Mollusc is in deep shit ... if Brian was telling the truth. Which is somewhat doubtful. "So, what did Sonny Boy and Mommy have to discuss that couldn't wait till later?" I guess I could tell him, but he might have a minor queen out, and that's not something I want right now. But he saves me from having to reply, "You know, we have been married for five hours now, and I haven't fucked you in four and a half. Think we could..."

"You are so full of shit, Brian. This is supposed to be our celebration, so we can't just run off every other hour to fuck our brains out." He tells me that he just wants to celebrate in his own special way, and presses himself against me. Oh fuck. He's hard and certain parts of my body don't care about etiquette or stuff like that. "Brian..." He drags me over to a side entrance and into the bathroom, and before I know it, he's buried balls-deep inside me, and I've forgotten why this seemed like a bad idea. That is, until Mikey is walking in on us...