Notes: Um... Somehow Brian managed to claim almost the entire chapter, sorry about that. Maybe Justin will manage to avenge himself later on *grin*

Oh, and maybe I should add a cliffhanger warning to this chappy as well. Soooo, what do you think, is it the Big C or not? *is having far too much fun with this*

Chapter 39 - From Bad to Worse

Brian

My brilliant plan had one flaw, of course. There was no way for us to go on our honeymoon right away – what with Justin at P.I.F.A. and working part-time for Vanguard, and me with a schedule that would send anyone running. Justin told me – and basically everyone else who was interested – that he didn't mind, that last year's trip to Paris had already been like a honeymoon, et cetera. But despite his claims to the contrary, I could tell he was just a little disappointed, and was looking forward to July and Hawaii. His idea, not mine! I wanted to go abroad, leave the States, and take Justin to Fiji or some other equally exotic island. But he went all "Oh please, Bri? I've never been and I always wanted to go. And it'll be like so cool!" It's times like that when he reminds me most of that 17-year-old twink who was stalking me. And while it was that twink who made me fall in love for the first – and last – time in my life, I'm quite glad that he's more mature now – most of the time...

So the only thing akin to a honeymoon we had after the wedding was a day off. Vance had actually threatened to fire me if I showed up on the 21st, and since Justin didn't have any classes... I think it's safe to say that we didn't leave the bed for almost the entire day. Justin was like a man starving – for some odd reason – and I made sure he was properly fed before the day was over and I really fed him at the diner. Married life is such a hardship, it's amazing how well I'm handling it. Though ... being hard on an almost constant basis isn't exactly bad, nor is it new. Shit! That thought alone is enough to get me ready to go, and I think I have to see what he's up to at the loft ... now!

It's been two weeks – two weeks filled with loads of fucking, and the occasional love-making – yes, I'm aware that even the roughest fuck now qualifies as making love in some way, but fuck that – and if I'd known how much of a turn-on those fucking rings are, well ... I'd have married him a long time ago. Maybe. I'm about to tell Cynthia that I'm taking off for an extended lunch break – I'm thinking two or three hours here – when my fucking cell goes off. It's Justin. Now if that doesn't prove that fate loves irony... I mean, he's now stopping me from driving over to the loft to fuck his brains out. "Why hello, Sunshine. What can I do for you on this lovely day?" He'll giggle like mad before long, informing me that I'm so full of shit. "I mean, what can I do that I haven't done already? In bed, the shower, and the kitchen..." As I was saying, he's rather insatiable of late. But he doesn't chuckle – on the contrary. I can almost hear him frown...

"Brian? Could you come over please? Now? We have a guest..." And by the sound of it, I know that it's no one he wants to see. And since I don't think Craig Taylor would visit the Den of Evil, it can only be... Fuck! She must have found out about the wedding... Shit, shit, shit! I swear, if she takes her disgust and anger out on Justin, I'll make worms' meat of her. And fuck Justin for making me watch that new, Leonardo DiCaprio version of "Romeo and Juliet"... He'd said that it was for education purposes, but I caught him drooling over Mr Romeo Montague. I ended up punishing him by fucking the shit out of him while he was wearing one of our cock rings. Fuck, that was hot... "Bri? Will you..." Shit, I totally forgot to answer him.

"Just hang in there, offer her some prussic acid if we have any, and I'll be there in a few." And I'm going to kill whoever left the front door unlocked – again. Unless ... fuck, it was probably Justin himself. I'm about to hit the "disconnect" button when I realise that he must be pretty shaken. "Justin? Don't forget that despite what she says, it's real and true for us. And that I love you, even though you're a little shit most of the time..." And I know that he's smiling now, and I'm hoping that Saint Joan sees it. Vindictive bitch! I think it's high time I set some things straight – figuratively speaking...

Cyn is smirking when I tell her that I've to go and don't know when, or if, I'll be back – today, that is. But then she catches my frown, and just nods. I swear, if I wasn't as gay as they come, she'd be the perfect partner for me... Now there's a thought, but it's neither the time, nor the place for that right now. But it's something to keep in mind for later, much later. And I won't tell Mel, oh no. It's amazing that she has kept her mouth shut so far, but I'm not going to push my luck.

By the time I get to the loft, I'm ready to throttle someone. It's midday, so the streets were fucking jammed. Why does that always happen when I'm in a hurry, huh? I didn't even want to think about Justin and my beloved mother. But of course I did. Fuck! I think Justin heard the elevator, cause the door slides open before I can even reach for my keys. And the relief I see in his eyes, the way he throws his arms around me... She's dead! It's been ages since he was so rattled – probably not since just after the bashing. I repeat, she's done for. And it won't be pretty, boys and girls. "It's okay, I'm here..." And if he ever tells anyone how sweet and caring I can be, I swear I'm going to kill him. Cause it's entirely his fault. Little fucker.

I wrap my arm around his waist and steer him back inside. Joanie is sitting on one of the stools, an expression of total revulsion gracing her features. I know, I probably shouldn't incite her any further, but screw that. I draw Justin close and devour his perfectly-shaped lips. She starts to cough almost immediately, but I take my time and only draw back when my dearest wifey is all hot and bothered, panting as if he can't get enough oxygen into his lungs, which is quite likely come to think of it. I step away and turn to my sainted mother, acting as if I'm seeing her for the first time. "Joanie! So nice of you to call. What can we do for you?" If I ever used this particular tone of voice on Justin, he'd run for the fucking hills.

But not Joanie. "How ... how dare you?! How could you?! I know you've always mocked me for my religiousness, but this time you've gone too far. As I've already told this boy," she points at Justin, "who's become just as obnoxious as you've always been by the way, you two have tainted one of the holy sacraments, you've made a joke of the holiness of matrimony..." I'm sure that's not the only thing she told Justin. Else he'd have been able to handle her just fine. And for some reason I think I know just what she said, and I'm proven right when she starts screaming, "And to think that you exposed innocent children to this depraved lifestyle of yours. You will rot in Hell! You know, I'm not surprised that Mr Taylor turned his back on his son..."

Wait a minute... Joanie and Justin's dickhead of a father? What the fuck! I really don't care how they met, and what they think of us, this is just... "Shut up!" My voice is quiet, but I think she realises how close I am to snapping, cause she falls silent. I'm gathering Justin in my arms, holding him tightly. "Craig Taylor," and I'm only using his name because I think Justin might take exception to me calling his father a prick, "Craig Taylor turned from his only son because Justin refused to lead the life laid out for him. Which is something I always supported him in, and will always admire him for." My little blond twink gives me a small smile and I continue, "Besides, before you sing me songs about the behaviour of a good Christian – did you know that daddy-dear didn't even think of visiting his son while he was in hospital, fighting for his life? Did you know that? Not very Christian, if you ask me."

But if I thought that could stop her, I was fucking mistaken. "It may not have been the best course of action, but he simply couldn't visit the person you and the likes of you have made of his son." Of course. It's my fault, always my fault. "If you hadn't seduced him, made him stray from God's path, he wouldn't have ended up at the hospital at all. You condemned him to an afterlife filled with endless torment..." Her eyes are blazing, and she looks just like the little fanatic that she is.

Justin's lips are twitching, and I know he's this close to saying something, but this is between her and me, it's about how she always blamed me for everything. "Of course, Mother! I seduced him... If anything, he did the seducing..." Justin raises his eyebrow – fuck, he steals my facial expressions! – but I just wink at him. He'll understand in no time. "He had to fight me like mad until I finally accepted that something like love truly exists, even for me. I know that's a foreign concept to you, but he loves me. And he doesn't blame me for the bashing, which was fucking unbelievable for me since I felt responsible for longer than I care to remember." He's such a little shit. He's standing on tip-toe and kisses my nose. He'll so pay for that. Oh yes. I think I may have to get out the anal beads again... But not before I've dealt with Joanie.

I draw a deep breath and carry on, "But you ... you have to blame it all on me, right? You always did. So tell me, Mother, was it also my fault that Pop beat the shit out of me on a regular basis? Or that he threw me down the stairs if he was in a particularly good mood? Is it my fault that you never even tried to stop him, and instead drank yourself into a stupor?" I laugh harshly, and even though I've worked through this with Kathleen, I'm fucking glad I have Justin next to me right now. "Oh right ... I was born. So sorry. That explains everything, of course." Her face is ashen, and for a second I'm wondering if I've been too callous. That is, of course, before she tells me that I can't speak to her in this manner, and that she's my mother, and I've to honour her. That almost makes me laugh out loud. Who knew that Joan Kinney could be so funny?

I'm considering my options, when Justin beats me to it. "Honour you? What for? You say you are Brian's mother, but the fuck you are! If memory serves, Jesus was preaching love, not hate. When we met, Brian told me he didn't believe in love, and I give you three attempts to figure out why! And it wasn't only Brian. Claire was just the same, and if you'd even bother to really look, you'd see that she's so much happier now, as are the boys. But you know what? I think you do see it, don't you? Which is your real problem. You were always miserable in your marriage, never knew what happiness felt like, so you believe that no one else should be happy if you can't pull it off. That's very Christian thinking, and so motherly..."

Oh shit. I'm going to have to make sure that I never really piss him off. He's fucking devious. "Brian! Tell him that he can't talk to me like this..." She'll never learn. This didn't work last year when she called on her sick son at the Allegheny, it sure as hell won't work now. I simply shrug and inform her that since Justin's my husband, he can talk to his mother-in-law in whatever manner he chooses. There wouldn't be any stopping him, anyway. He's like a little pitbull if he wants to be... "How dare you?! You'd choose him over your own mother?" Is she seriously asking me that? I mean, honestly... That's not a choice, it's a given fact. Justin went before everything – and everyone – since I showed up at his fucking Prom... Okay, had he asked for monogamy at that point, I'd have told him to cut it out, but generally speaking...

"Justin is my husband, Joan. And even if you think we made a farce of marriage, it is real to us. See this?" I raise my left hand for her to see. "This means we are married, more so than some of those fucking hetero couples will ever be. More than you and Pop ever were... Thanks to you, I almost lost Justin, cause I didn't know how to tell him that I cared about him, was scared shitless of letting him love me, because if my own parents couldn't love me, then who could? So don't you dare tell me about the holiness of matrimony! After the example you set for both Claire and me." Justin hugs me, and I have to smile down at him before my eyes turn to my mother again, fixing her with a cold and calculating stare. "And since you had to bring up Jenny and Gus... What lifestyle did you and Pop lead, huh? Our family might not be what you'd call normal, but at least we love each other. And that's more than can be said about life in the Kinney household."

The little shit is suddenly giggling into my shoulder, and I'm trying to figure out what caused this sudden glee. And then it hits me. I just admitted, in a very roundabout way, that I don't hate Mel. Fuck! "Oh, do shut up. She's changed, okay? Isn't nearly as irritating as she once was." He chuckles harder. Great. I married a madman. I should have known. I mean, he has to be a bit mad to endure me on a daily basis. But I never knew that he was this far gone. "Do you mind?! I would appreciate it if you didn't slobber all over my jacket. I've to go back to the agency, and Justin-drool isn't exactly very fashionable." It's amazing how quickly a chuckle can turn into a death glare. Apparently, he's still of the opinion that he doesn't drool ... at all. Well, his pillow – and my chest – can tell a very different story.

I had almost forgotten about Joanie, but she's to remind me of her presence, naturally. "You are an abomination, and to think that the authorities favour your disgusting way of life... Those kids are God's own children, but they will never see his light and wisdom, because seeing a display of sin like you just presented to me will turn them to sinners before they reach adolescence. If you loved them, you would see that. They are doomed ... doomed already." Shit. She doesn't even listen. I should just save my breath. "I'm praying for your soul, but I'm afraid that won't help you. Your soul is damaged for all times, so don't think that anyone could ever really love you..." I think she shouldn't have said that...

"Get the fuck out of here!" Justin's not only pissed, he's fuming. "If Brian's soul was damaged, it would be entirely your fault. But it isn't! I'm really sorry for you, Mrs Kinney, really sorry. Because you'll never see how warm and loving Brian can be. How strong he is, how he always thinks of others before he considers his own needs." His eyes are cold as steel, and I'm almost pitying my mother. Almost. "And never bring our children into this again! They lead a life filled with warmth and love, they are surrounded by people they can rely on..." He falters for a moment, but then goes on, "And as for my father... Brian's right, he just couldn't accept the fact that I didn't want to go to Dartmouth and become a business major. Your son enabled me to follow my dream, and that alone is reason enough for me to love him. But there's so much more ... so many things that you never wanted to acknowledge. And now, you won't get another opportunity to do so."

Yup, my personal little pitbull, and I still think it's absolutely stunning how he comes to the fore to defend me. Not that he needs to, not that I ever wanted him to... But it's really comforting to know that there is one person who'll always be there to protect you, no matter what. Shit! I've been that person for him pretty much from the beginning on. And I still tried to pretend that he was just another trick, the little twink who was becoming something like a friend. So much for my supposed brilliance. I know that it was pretty much love on first sight for him, and seriously, who could blame him? Everyone loves me. The thing is, I don't think I fared any different. Only, how was I to know? I realised that there was something special about him, yes. Something that put me under his spell, and annoyed the hell out of Mikey... But there was no way that I could have known that it wasn't just a physical thing, but that, and fuck this is so cheesy, that we connected on a soul-deep level. Else he wouldn't have survived those first months, more or less unscathed.

"I want you to leave, and never to come back. You're not welcome here, you never were..." He's breaking free and moves over to the door. I don't believe that this will manage to kick her out of our lives for good, but for a while ... yes. She gets up from the stool, glaring daggers at me as she passes me. And shit, that reminds me of my childhood when she looked at me with disdain even if I brought home an A or something equally great. When she reaches Justin, she stops, and things are happening in slow motion... "Go on, get out. Brian has no need for a mother like you, an neither has Claire. Oh, and tell my father that I would have loved for him to attend the wedding, but I simply thought he wouldn't like seeing Brian and I make out on the dance floor..."

She's seething, "Don't you flaunt your disgusting lifestyle at me!" She's like an old record, repeating one line over and over again. "And don't you dare tell me to stay away from my family! Who do you think you are?" That's when she slaps him across the face, and I think she'd have spit at him as well if I hadn't pushed her out of the door. And I can't even say how I got there...

"Never ... hit ... Justin ... again! Do you hear me?! I know that you and Pop believed in corporal punishment, and I'm sure it's a very Christian concept as well, but don't you dare to raise your hand..." My voice is shaking with anger, as is my entire body. How could she?! "Get out! And if I ever find out that you hit John or Peter, you'll pay for it! Do you hear me? Get the fuck out of my sight!" It's Justin who slides the door shut, who leads me to the sofa, and who puts a glass of JB into my hand. She fucking hit him! Wasn't it enough that I was the punching bag number one while I lived in our glorious home? She hit him! Because of me... He got hurt because of me...

---

Justin

Why couldn't I keep my big mouth shut? Why did I have to add fuel to the flames? 'Smart move, Taylor, really smart move.' Brian is staring into empty space, and I'm wondering if I should call Kathleen. I mean, they were working through this, weren't they? So maybe she could... But that's fucked! This has nothing to do with his childhood, or only very marginally. It's all about me getting hurt because of him. Oh yes. We're back to the glory days right after Mikey straightened me out. Joy! "Brian?" No response. Fuck! He's come so far. But there's one thing he'll never be able to accept: I will get hurt, it's part of life, and there's nothing he can do about it. I drop down next to him. "Brian, please look at me..." He's turning his head very slowly, and I breathe out a sigh of relief. It seems Kathleen's words fell on fertile ground, and he's no longer doing the ostrich, trying to ignore a problem, hoping that it will just go away if ignored for long enough.

"It's not your fault. She's a bitch ... I know she's your mother, but it's the truth. And she's so certain that her bullshit belief is the only right way that whenever she's faced with something different, she freaks. That's what happened just now – nothing more, nothing less." She's just like Dad as far as that is concerned. Only that Dad didn't just slap Brian, but beat the shit out of him. Fuck. I can still see it. Brian lying on the ground in front of his car, and Dad kicking him into the ribs and stomach. A little smack seems to be nothing compared to that. "And I know that she's supposed to love you, but ... I don't know ... she's very much like you, you know? She was never loved by anyone, so how would she know how to love you in turn?" I flash him a brilliant smile, "You were lucky, you had me..."

And he smirks like I knew he would, and everything falls back into place. "I was lucky, eh? To be stuck with you annoying brat for the rest of my life, yes?" The significance of that sentence isn't lost to me, and it still strikes me just how much he remembers about us. "Justin... She had no right to hit you. She was angry with me, which is nothing new..." I think now is not the right time to point out that I think Joan Kinney is mostly angry with herself. I'll save that till later. "She shouldn't have taken it out on you." I lean against him, resting my head on his shoulder, and I'm so fucking glad when I feel his arm slip around me.

I think it's high time for some entertainment after all the drama we had just now, so I whisper, "Tell me, Brian, since when is this thing going on, huh? Between you and Mel?" I bat my lashes at him, and he simply pounces. It doesn't take long for us to relocate to the bed, and I'm lying between his legs, worshipping his beautiful cock. I admit that part of me wants to tape this and send it over to Brian's mother, but despite it all, I don't think he wants her to die of a heart attack just yet. He's close, I can feel his whole body hum with anticipation. And it takes only one more swipe of my tongue across the head and he's exploding, shooting his come down my throat with a loud groan. Of course, some dribbled from between my lips and onto his balls, but I'm going to take care of that as soon as I learn to breathe again...

That's when it happens, when I feel the small lump on his left ball. Oh no, I'm not thinking of his fucking father and the way he died. I'm not thinking that it could be... Shit! Holy fucking shit! Why didn't I notice it before? It's not like I don't blow him almost every day. Fuck! And my eyes aren't filling with tears, they are not! Brian realises that something's wrong, and... "Hey? Fell asleep down there? That's not very nice, you know... But maybe a rim job and a hard fuck can bring you back to the land of the living. What do you think, Sunshine?" I think that I want to turn back time and... "Justin? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

He drags me up, and of course sees that the waterworks are on, and arches an eyebrow in that way of his that simply commands me to answer. "I ... I felt something on your..." Fuck! I can't even say it because of all the horror stories that are running through my mind. So I just take his hand and show him. His eyes grow impossibly large, and his whole face seems to freeze. "I think you should go and see a doctor about this. The sooner the better..." He simply nods, and I'm wondering what we did wrong, what mistakes we made in our past lives, to deserve this. Why does this shit always happen to us? Why...